Mel's a military mom who can pack a full house and load it on a truck and still have time in the afternoon to go have one last Golden at R&C. She can probably beat Ian if she gets there late and has to also deal with everyone else's stroller too.
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I want to say Melanie, but I think the maternal instincts to protect her Duffy might hold her back. And you mention that Ian has no love for Duffy, which I suspect might give him the edge. Plus, the Amish are very good with wheeled, man powered devices. No, I'll stick with Melanie. Go, Mel!
I always start my INTERCOT day on the news page and look down the Discussion Live column on the far right for new topics. And I saw Team Meal and thought it was Team Mel and we were all about to trash-talk for the Stroller Throwdown. Alas, no. But anyway, TEAM MEL! (There, I feel better).