Probably going to cancel our trip...sad venting

[Flower]

Maybe I can convince DH to give me a solo trip to WDW for my birthday next October...

Nat,

I am so sorry that you are canceling your family vacation, but would it be at all possible for you and your husband to go away for a few nights, just the 2 of you? With him being away for so long it would probably be good for the 2 of you. I would hate the thought of being there without my boys, but I think I could get over it!

It sounds like you do an amazing job with your boys, and they are lucky to be so close to DL!

[buzznwoodysmom]

He is supposed to come back in Feb 09, which is why we planned the trip for May. We wanted to wait until things settled down.

OK, I totally missed that part. We were headed for WDW right when DH came back from his tour and it wouldn't have worked out for us so I was glad we made other plans.

I am sure what ever you choose to do it will all work out. You know what is best for your faimly and it looks like you are doing a great job! Like your DH said, WDW will be there when you decide to go and after waiting so long it will be twice as special. Good luck with everything.

[BrerGnat]

Nat,

I am so sorry that you are canceling your family vacation, but would it be at all possible for you and your husband to go away for a few nights, just the 2 of you? With him being away for so long it would probably be good for the 2 of you.

Well, yes. DH is coming home on July 31 for 2 weeks R&R. We have a trip to Las Vegas planned for 2 nights, just the two of us. My sister is staying here with the boys. Las Vegas is his WDW. We are really looking forward to going away together.

He wouldn't be interested in going to WDW with just me. He has already told me that from now on, it's all about the boys when we do Disney. He has done everything he wanted to do there (and at Disneyland) and just likes to see the boys have fun and experience things with them. He's not a Disney nut like me. But, he's also nice about letting ME go to WDW when I need a "fix". I went last year with my sister and a friend of mine. I think we'll all be up for another "girls trip" next year.

[HulaMinnie]

So sorry to hear you need to postpone - but I can totally understand why. DS4 (soon to be 5) has autism, too and this past year has been a real rollercoaster ride of challenges and joys. Not having the language at his command has just been so frustrating for him. I posted a couple of weeks ago about our concerns with his running out the door whenever he got the chance. That was combined with some acting-out behavior at school that suddenly appeared after what has been a mostly very good year. Since then his speech has made a leap and the behaviors have subsided - for now. Go figure. His OT said it was probably just a developmental phase, and I thought, "Yeah, sure." When you're in the middle of dealing with such a situation, it can seem like it's never going to end or get any better. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can and does get better! Bless you and your family. It must be very difficult for you with your husband away and all of the concerns involved with that in addition to caring for your children. Know that you are prayed for and pixie dusted big time! Your WDW visit, when it does happen, will be sweet indeed and we'll all be cheering for you.

[BrerGnat]

Thanks Sue. It's good to hear (yet again) how things WILL get better. We have our good days, but there have been more bad than good days lately, and I guess it's all snowballed on me and I just feel overwhelmed. The idea of a trip to WDW with DS makes my head spin, whereas 2 months ago, it seemed like a grand idea. Who knows, maybe by this time next year, he'll be a lot better, but I'd rather still wait a bit, I think.

[JMTStone]

Natalie,
You've already gotten a lot of good advice from people who know better than I do. I am Aunt of Autistic nephews and I know what my sister goes through only from her stories.

You are a very strong woman who deserves the best.

DH is right. WDW will always be there. And I'll cross my fingers for October for you.

I admire you both. Mom and Husband... both serving!

[tinkerbellybutton]

Natalie,
I'm sorry. it's so hard to let go of a dream. I really don't have words of wisdom for you and I won't tell you things will get better, you know they will, but right now things stink! You sound awful strong, you seem to hold everything together for the boys and even your DH. If the solo trip is an option I think you deserve it. Take care of you!

[Kairi_7378]

Natalie, I'm so sorry to hear that you won't be going to WDW this time... I loved reading your February trip reports! I can't give you any advice for dealing with your sons and their fears but a lot of the others here have. I will tell you that if your older son gets over his fear of airplanes that the plane ride out of BWI is very short.

You and your husband are so strong and have made some very difficult decisions. I'll continue to send pixie dust your way!

[wdwfansince75]

One of the most serious gaps in Military family health care is the issue of daddy (and today, sometimes mommy) going away. One of the reasons your son may dislike airplanes is that he associates them with daddy being away. He may also have seen you watching the news and associates airplanes with things that scare you and therefore, him. When we deployed frequently to Southeast Asia, many of the families, including DW and I, chose to say good bye at the house, rather than at the flight line. Daddy had gone to work, rather than daddy had flown away. If he associates airplanes with "an airplane brought my daddy back", his feelings will most certainly change.

Transitions are always a concern. Best advise I ever saw on the subject comes from a church transition manual..."Finish well, Start strong."

For your WDW trip, consider Shades of Green. It is a great resort, within a short walk from the Poly, and has reasonable bus servide to the TTA and AK and DHS. In addition, there is a great chance that there will be other families just like yours there at the same time. You may be strong enough ( as you seem to be) to adapt, and to handle the transition, but it always helps to lean a bit on others, especially if some of them also need someone to lean on. (Would make a great song, eh?)

Thank your husband for what he does from someone who knows what it takes, and thanks to you from the husband of one who knows what it takes to do what you do.

[offwego]

Natalie I'm sorry to hear your postponing your trip to a different time frame. (it does sound as if you'll be back both you and your boys which is the main thing)

Your strength as you deal with this is amazing & your friends here at Intercot are alwasy willing to lend an ear when things don't go the way you'd like.

[countrycharmer]

First of all, my heartfelt thanks to your wonderful husband for all he does for his country and to make sure that my family can sleep safely at night!!

Being a mother of two girls, one who has cp, bells & erbs palsy, had a stroke at birth, and has lots of other fine & gross motor issues, etc., and her younger sister who is hearing impaired and has significant digestive issues, let me tell you what my pediatrician told me when I was at my lowest point...." GOD only gives SPECIAL children to SPECIAL people... who can be strong and guide them to be the best that they are meant to be...HAPPY, HEALTHY and LOVED!!"

We have gone through the same issues, but then went and were glad we did.... your family will make decisions that are right for you and NEVER second guess yourself; follow your heart and your gut!

Please kiss those wonderful children and know that you must have been their angel to love them so much!!

I am proud of you!!