parents

[disney obsessed]

Well, my mom is not doing well. Some days are good but the last week has been hard. I can take it when she yells, it's the fear and sadness that shake me to the core. She is still able to take care of herself and you would not know that she has dementia if you met her, but underneath is a very delusional, fearful woman. She won't take meds, never has believed in the doctor.
We have had small episodes like this before and she has bounced back. I am praying that she will again.
Please send pixie dust laced with meds. (For her not for me..)

[SBETigg]

I'm so sorry, prayers and pixie dust on the way. Watching a loved one with dementia is not easy and so sad, and suffering from it must be even worse.

[MNNHFLTX]

I'm so sorry for what your mom is going through and for your pain too. You're in my prayers.

[UCJen]

Hi there-

It sounds like you are a caregiver? Have you considered contacting your local Alzheimer's Association chapter? They can assist you with respite for yourself and they help find healthy ways of coping with the stress of caregiving.

I'm not sure if you know this (and I apologize if you already do), but the Alzheimer's Association has a message board for caregivers and anytime you feel like you need to unload, there is an 800 number (it's on the website) you can call. You can talk to a master's level therapist or social worker 24/7. They will not rush you and you can call as many times as like, at no charge to you whatsoever. I know some of them personally and they are truly gifted at what they do.

Another option for help might be your local Area Agency on Aging. I don't know how old your mom is, but if she is 60 or older, she might be entitled to some services through the Older Americans Act.

I hope this helps you.

[DVC2004]

I'm sorry, prayers and pixie dust for you. I can totally understand. My mom suffered from mental illness (not dementia though, I understand they are totally different and not the same at all!) for years and would not take her meds. It was very hard on all of us. She was frightened to leave the house, yelled and was very mean to pretty much everyone, and was convinced people were out to get her. SHe wouldn't//couldn't work as well. She was like this for most of my life. By looking at her you wouldn't know of course. She also refused to see a doctor. It took many years and we could not get her treatment without her authorization (we tried many times). I don't know what changed but one day my sister made her an appt and she went, and started taking her meds. Don't give up. I know it's hard and alot people just don't understand unless they have been through it.

[disney obsessed]

Thanks for the ideas. I will deffinately lookup the Alz website.

Disney World.....take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!

[laprana]

I'm so sorry you and your mom are going through this. Sending that things will get better!

Hi there-

It sounds like you are a caregiver? Have you considered contacting your local Alzheimer's Association chapter? They can assist you with respite for yourself and they help find healthy ways of coping with the stress of caregiving.

I'm not sure if you know this (and I apologize if you already do), but the Alzheimer's Association has a message board for caregivers and anytime you feel like you need to unload, there is an 800 number (it's on the website) you can call. You can talk to a master's level therapist or social worker 24/7. They will not rush you and you can call as many times as like, at no charge to you whatsoever. I know some of them personally and they are truly gifted at what they do.

Another option for help might be your local Area Agency on Aging. I don't know how old your mom is, but if she is 60 or older, she might be entitled to some services through the Older Americans Act.

I hope this helps you.

Thank you for posting this info! My stepmom's father has Alzheimer's and she is the main caregiver for him. It really takes a toll on her. He has been going downhill for the past few months. Up until a few weeks ago, he was still able to function well and live on his own in his home. But, things are deteriorating and his living arrangements might have to change soon. My stepmom is really stressed trying to figure that out because she knows he will not want to leave his home, but it's getting to the point where he's no longer safe there. I will pass on the Alzheimer's Association info to her in the hopes that they can help her through making these tough decisions.

[AHOTE]

I can really understand how you feel and what you are going through. For the past 3 ½ years I’ve been the primary caregiver for my 87 year old mother who suffers with Alzheimer’s. I left my job to care for her and I have no regrets. For the most part mom is very easy going and things run as smoothly as they can. There are times though when she or events can lead to frustration that can set in quickly but you deflect it and learn to walk away. Administering medicines can be a struggle but pulverizing them and adding them to a favorite food can help. Your doctor can tell you which pills can be given this way and/or he can alter prescriptions to fit that need.

I recently started working with the PCA, a governmental group where we live. I know I can no longer do it all by myself. My wellbeing, and yours as a caregiver, is as important as the care we have been giving. You have a similar organization in VA that can assist you. I sent a PM with their information. We qualified for a lot of services many of which I never knew existed. The help and materials they provide make things a lot easier. I never realized how much I was actually doing during the time I’ve been doing this. Best of all I now have time to myself without having to pay out of pocket for qualified help to watch her. She has in home health care for 4 hours twice a week and three full 8 hour days in an adult day care facility. I too now can get paid for providing care on those days when outside services are either not scheduled or become unavailable.

If there is advice I could give to a caregiver regarding the care of an Alzheimer’s/dementia patient, it is don’t stress over doing what you know is right and necessary by them. I know, easier said than done! They may protest, they may resist, they may strike out at you both verbally and physically and you will feel their resentment toward you for doing certain things. They will get over it probably quicker than you will. Never forget that you are looking out for their best interest, don’t lose sight of that. Know your limitations and respect theirs.

Mom has had bouts of illness that required hospital and rehabilitation stays. She just returned home after suffering a broken hip. She has no recollection of the fall, or the surgery to repair it, or the 4 weeks in a rehab center. One thing mom has never lost is her sense of humor. On the day of her surgery they did an ultrasound on her heart to make sure she would be able to tolerate the hip operation. When the technician completed the test he turned to mom and asked her if she understood what he had done and why. She reached for his hand, looked him in the eye and said “Oh yes, you were checking to see if I was pregnant”. The poor guy didn’t know how to respond. We were still laughing as they wheeled her out for surgery. BTW, She now back to walking, like she did prior to her fall, and now she hides her walker every chance she gets. There are rare occasions where the woman I knew, shows through.

If I could change anything that has happened over the past few years I would have gotten help sooner. I wish she still had her memories and intellect too. I’ve learned not to sweat the little things and to take all things in stride.
I hope this in some small way will help you as you continue to care for your mom. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. You can reach me by PM if you want.

[Terra]

Watching a family member suffer through something is never fun. My father has some very serious life-threatening issues so I can relate

Sending lots of prayers and good thoughts!

[disney obsessed]

Thank you.