Norm nowadays? Or no?

[DVC2004]

We received an invite to a child's birthday party...4 months from now. Turning 2. There was also a gift registry included. Is this typical now? I was surprised to recieve an invite this far out for a birthday and also a registry. I thought that was usually for weddings or showers. Just curious! I don't know what I am doing 4 weeks from now let alone 4 months!

[PirateLover]

Wow, the 4 month thing doesn't bother me as much as the registry, although I too think 4 months out is a bit much for a child's
party. But a gift registry for a 2 year old??? I think that is pretty tacky and I've never heard of it.

[Mickey'sGirl]

I have never heard of such a thing either. Most times when we are invited to a birthday party, the parents ask that gifts NOT be given ... they just want to celebrate their child.

[disneymom15]

Not the "Norm" in my book. I would have been floored if that was sent to me.

[buzznwoodysmom]

That's definitely not the norm in my neck of the woods. I actually find both the 4 month "notice" and the registry extremely tacky.

[DVC2004]

LOL, whew, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who found this bizarre! I was floored, but I thought well maybe this is what people are doing these days. I guess not LOL!

The registry especially surprise me because I remember my kids at 1 1/2 or 2... they were happy with anything they were given. Heck they loved crayons and cardboard boxes more than any toy. And, it's an at-home party so it's not like at a venue or Chuck E. Cheese or any place where you might need to know a headcount in advance.

[Disney Doll]

Yeah, that's seems very tacky to me. You never mention gifts in any invite: bridal shower, birthday, wedding, or otherwise. If there is a registry that information is shared by word of mouth to those that inquire. A registry for a 2 year old seems very over the top and I've never heard of a 4 month prior birthday invite. What's next, save the date cards? I'd probably decline just because those two things are so off putting.

[Melanie]

Wow. Just wow.

[Mousemates]

that seems a little tacky to me and not anything I've seen or heard of in our area...and a registry four months out really just doesn't make much sense, because in four months who knows what a child will really want (thou I suspect the registry might be more what the mom wants, than what they want).

[Ian]

Very tacky and totally not the norm. Not even in the wacky Northeast where we take crazy to a whole new level!

[Jeri]

I have to agree I have never heard of an invite sent that far in advance. Seems like the mom wants to make sure she has lots of people, thus lots of gifts. Tacky

Also the registry is very odd, and I actually find it very rude and greedy.
I had a cousin though that sent an invite for her son's birthday ( on facebook) when he turned 3 or 4, she said he needed a new big boy carseat, and he liked cars and pringles chips.
I found that rude too, I would never ask people to buy my child their carseat, that is part of being a parent.

My daughter will be 2 in January, and I would never think of doing a registry. If people ask what she wants I always offer some ideas, but mainly because she has Down syndrome so toys that are fun and serve a PT/OT need or goal are always good. "Purposeful Play"

[Ms. Mode]

We just got my DD married off in May; there is a specific time line for sending invites...something like 4 or 5 weeks prior to the event. Four months is a bit much...but for a birthday party...for a 2 year old! Give me a break!

No way I'd go. I have to agree that this is mommy wanting special gifts for her little darling...who won't care one way or another.

[dnickels]

This parent needs to receive an anonymous email or letter in the mail from any of the 'miss manners' or 'miss etiquette' or similar advice columns (you can google 'gift registry for a 2 year old etiquette' and get plenty of them) explaining that what they're doing is universally tacky.

Some people are just unreal these days.

[SBETigg]

I have never heard of such a thing. Wow! That seems over the top and ridiculous to me. I would have laughed to get that invitation. But maybe they're new to this and over enthusiastic. I think I would gift the child with a charity donation in his name and a polite "we can't make it" to the party.

[Dopey's Girl]

That's really strange. I have had less notice for weddings! Four months seems excessive.

And the registry...that's just not cool.

[TinkerbellT421]

I have seen and heard of some crazy things.

And I might sound like a twit saying this seeing it is not the two year olds fault, but the parents, however, I think I would purposely not go and not buy a gift at all. Just for the sheer principle. I might lose a friend for it but I think I would write on the RSVP card a note after check marking the no, and write "just because this is absurd". In my Italian family who has been known to be a little over the top with parties and get togethers, I would be lucky to receive the invite via phone two weeks before. Heck, we have planned literally last minute-day before-parties as birthday parties. I just cannot even express the issues I have with this lol.

But to answer your original question, no, not the norm lol.

[DVC2004]

Yes I agree that if someone asks for ideas for what the child wants it's totally OK to offer up some reasonable ones (i.e. he likes Star Wars or she's into arts and crafts or Barbie), because people just don't know sometimes what the kid likes or ideas to look into...but I thought the gift registry was a little much. To actually have gone around the store with that scan gun picking stuff out -wow! I looked at the items and I can't see any child that age going around a store "picking" out stuff. It has to be mommy.

Speaking of asking what a child likes, I remember a relative of mine used to ask us for very expensive, specific items for birthdays or Christmas for her child. We would be told very specifically she wants a Barbie Dream House (over $100!) or My Size Barbie (also $100), so get her one of those! I would tell her politely, but in a direct way, that we appreciated the input but it was out of our budget so we would find something else she would enjoy. Like someone said above when they were asked for a big-boy car seat for a birthday, that and these high priced items are for parents to buy! I would never dream of telling people, relatives or not, that my kid wants a Playstation 3 or whatever (or any other expensive item). Sheesh! That's for me to buy as a parent.

[BrerGnat]

I thought I'd seen it all when I saw some of those parties that the "Real Housewives" have had for their little ones, but this just takes the cake.

I really hope this is not a good friend of yours, because she needs to be told how horribly tacky and out of control this all is...

[andypooh]

never ever heard of a gift registry for a birthday party of any age, let alone a 2 year old

[meldan98]

I've got an 8 year old and a 3 year old and about two weeks prior to their birthdays I get hammered with questions on what they want for their birthday by friends and family. I would say, I get asked by about 90% of the people who get invited. I am usually stumped on what to tell people. I'm learning to keep a list of things to tell people all under about $20 and keep track of what I've told people. Once I didn't and my daughter got 3 or 4 of the same things. I'm learning that people really do need to be told what to buy, despite how tacky it is I'm really tempted to do a registry. It is stressful to get the ugly looks from the parents at the party when 2 or more of the same things are opened at the party.

There is a toy store in our area that lets you go in and put things in a Birthday box. Your guests then go to that store, pick from the box and then they get a 20% discount on the items in the box. This has become a popular option to the traditional registry. It saves time and money.

Another thing that is becoming popular at parties, is not opening presents during the party. Many times, the party will end and the presants will remain unopened and taken home and opened later. That's a weird one to me.