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Changing family, changing WDW experience?
It has been a few years since we have been to WDW and a lot has changed. My Mom, with whom we enjoyed several trips, has passed away, and my oldest son, who used to love WDW, is, gasp, a teenager. And I am not sure if it goes without saying he can be unpleasant, but...
So, I am worrying about going to WDW with a sullen teen ager who wants to sleep late and thinks most rides are lame and parades and characters are silly (he is 14) and an 9 year old who worships and imitates oldest brother. I am realizing that the child within ME is feeling selfish about the idea of them spoiling my enjoyment of the magic.
I am just wondering how others have weathered the transition. I never minded nursing my baby or holding a sleeping toddler or carrying a tired, sticky,heavy 5 year old (and stroller) onto the trains. I loved the WDW experiences with my little ones. I don't know if i can stand sarcasm and boredom!!
I know some of you have travelled with teens. Just wondered if any of you have any suggestions.
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I don't think anyone can really speak for someone else's family.
Have your children expressed interest in going to WDW or is it you who wants to go? Maybe now is not the time to go? I loved it as a teen but not every teen is the same. There are so many other places in the country/world to see.
Maybe you could do a Disney Cruise and then just tag a few park days before or after the cruise? I can't imagine a teenager not loving a cruise, even a Disney cruise.
Maybe you could go and not focus on the parks as much. The water parks are really fun and offer more adult type fun. Maybe you could do some of the water sports activities? There are still some rides for older kids and teens.
If you are the only one who wants to go to WDW is it possible to go by yourself with a friend? Going without kids can be really fun!!!! I would never leave my kids behind it they wanted to go but if they don't want to go I would have no problem with it.
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I hope the day never comes when my kids (7 and 5) don't want to go. I watch my brothers kids who are (18 and 17) really change what they like and it does worry me that it will eventually happen. But hopefully if they do decide they don't want to go it will just be a phase and after a few years they will feel the power of Disney magic pulling them back. I know going through the teenage years I lost interest in my families annual camping trip then once I got older started going again.
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We have done the World with our 4 kids, and (so far) 5 of our 8 grandkids as teenagers. None of them ruined our trips, and almost without exception, we didn't ruin theres. Giving them a little room to enjoy (or not enjoy; their choice) themselves usually helped....at 14, Let them have some ownership in the decision process....Let them be part of the planning...ASK THEM (HIM) where they want to stay, and where they want to eat...and be prepared to accept their decisions.
We found that ours enjoyed different things as they got older...and while they enjoyed some of the same things as us, they enjoyed them more without us....although sometimes, they did like t share. We let them on their own, but usually only in the same park as us...relaxed rules as they got older...let them get their own CS meals...you need to start to "Trust, but verify"...and make sure that if you let the two of them do something together (like the speedway or soaring or Space Mtn), the younger on have a cell phone...
On a personal note...our oldest DGS was raised by a single mom (and incredible mother), and wasn't used to having a non-authoritative male presence...not a coach or teacher, or a part time (very part, little time) dad. But rather, a grandpa...who wanted to share, not control, the experience...and uncles of the same mindset...but the trips were memorable...just had to ease him in to accepting us.
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I agree with the previous poster....give your teenager a little more "wiggle room" to make his own decisions and let him go on his own or with his little brother for a while...the independence will brighten any teenager's mood. When my boys were in their teens I would let them go "do their thing" with an agreed upon meeting place and time....they loved the freedom and NEVER missed a "meet up".
Good luck!!! You may find you create lots of new and different memories.
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My kids have been going to WDW since they were babies. The oldest was 2 years old and the youngest just 9 months old on that first trip we took them on. They have been at least once a year since then, and will be 13 and 11 on our next trip. Both of my boys view WDW as a part of our life, more so than a vacation destination. Sometimes they joke that it's "about time we go visit our other home". I do think the continued trips have contributed to the way my kids feel about WDW. I think a lot of times if they grow up with it being a constant part of life they are more likely to not be grumpy teenagers in WDW. But that's just my opinion. With that said, don't think for a minute that I don't worry and dread that one day one of them will think they've outgrown Disney!
What I would probably try to do in your situation is give the teenager a little space. If you feel he is responsible, and mature enough, let him sleep late while the rest of you head to the parks early. Use cell phones to have him call when he is on his way, and pick a spot to meet him. Also maybe find some places that are more "cool" to eat at, less "kiddie". Like perhaps skip character meals this trip. Instead take him to Planet Hollywood, or maybe a nice, more mature meal like California Grill would be more to his liking. If there is something he has an interest in, like say fishing, you could book one of the fishing trips. You know your teenager the best, so it's really tough for outsiders to know what to do. Hope some of our suggestions can be put to good use getting your son to enjoy a trip to WDW.
And I just wanted to add that my friend's 16 year old son just went to WDW for the second time in his life. The last time he went he was around 6 years old. He never really loved it and never showed interest in going back. He went with a friend and the friend's family and came back telling his mom he had a blast. They stayed at BC, and he really enjoyed the pool. They rented sea raycers, boats, surrey bikes. The dad allowed them to go to the parks alone a few times. They also did the water parks and Disney Quest. So maybe allowing him to bring a friend would make the trip more enjoyable for him. Good Luck!
Denise
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Usually their attitude changes once they are in the park and the magic starts to take hold. If he continues to sulk, put some money in his hand and tell him to go find something he wants to do and the rest of you enjoy your vacation. If all he wants to do is sit at the room on a laptop ranting on facebook about how much he is hating being there, then so be it, although; in about 10 years he will realize what a tool he was at the time.
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I did have the sullen too cool teenager on one trip, I think my oldest was a HS freshman at the time. He was moody and annoying so we just told him our plans and we went on with our day, he would hook up with us somewhere along the way. Like you, we had the younger one who we took to the parks and continued to do the fun things we always do.
When we returned home and would talk about our trip, the too cool teen realized all the things he had missed and regretted it. The next year, he was actually the one that convinced us to buy into DVC. My boys are now 17 and almost 21 and we try to go down 2 or 3 times a year.
Good luck, just know this too shall pass.
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INTERCOT Staff: Theme Parks, DVC
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Originally Posted by WishingStar2006
I agree with the previous poster....give your teenager a little more "wiggle room" to make his own decisions and let him go on his own or with his little brother for a while...the independence will brighten any teenager's mood. When my boys were in their teens I would let them go "do their thing" with an agreed upon meeting place and time....they loved the freedom and NEVER missed a "meet up".
Good luck!!! You may find you create lots of new and different memories.
I completely agree with this. When I went through my teen phase at disney (I was in love with Corey Feldman and because he wore black, so did I ) my parents would let me go on my own, or maybe I would just go with my dad, and we would try to knock out like two whole parks (maybe even a 3rd) in one day. Yes, we didn't have downtime, we didn't relax and savor the moments, but I was a teen and didn't understand that concept. The main point being, I got to decide what rides we went on and what we did.
I'm sorry for the family changes, but they do happen. When my stepdad passed away I took my mom to WDW (a month after his passing). She doesn't remember much about the trip, but she remembers that it was her happy place and she can't wait to go again with me and my DH. I hope you have a magical trip.
Laura
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What can you change about your trips that would make it more interesting for him? Perhaps a challenge to tackle all the "mountains" in one day? Maybe some time at Wide World of Sports? Surfing lessons at Typhoon Lagoon? Perhaps your son could do some research on what's available and come up with some ideas that he would like - within your budget of course!!
Linda aka: Faline
INTERCOT Staff: Vacation Planning,Trip Reports and Disney Camping
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These are all great suggestions. Here's another -- is there a possibility your teen can bring a friend along? I know that changes the whole trip, but it might be something to think about if you think none of the other suggestions will work for him. As you know, at this age, friends are so important, and if you think his actions will change the way your younger son enjoys the vacation, it might be a solution.
Of course, Disney also has a way of changing how people are at home, as well. I agree that giving him some options of what he would like to do is practically a requirement. Also, have you thought about visiting Universal? It's a little more teen-attractive and might make the difference in anticipation of your trip.
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Originally Posted by Aurora
These are all great suggestions. Here's another -- is there a possibility your teen can bring a friend along?
After I posted and while I was making dinner, I was thinking the same thing. When my daughter was that age (and certainly was just as unpleasant as everyone else that age), we did take a friend of hers with us on at least two trips which worked quite well.
Linda aka: Faline
INTERCOT Staff: Vacation Planning,Trip Reports and Disney Camping
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I am not looking forward to that day - my kids are 10 and 5 and I, too, have the younger kid that mimics the older one. Right now, I am so grateful that my 10 year old is a little on the immature side and still really enjoys Disney. But I fear my day is coming, too - where the kids will be too "cool" for Disney. I, too, miss the days of strollers, sippy cups, character pictures (still get a few from time to time). I miss the kids liking the Winnie the Pooh ride and the little kids things. I'm enjoying some of the bigger kid stuff now though as well. I guess the Disney experience doesn't need to end - it's just going to change as they get older. And if/when the day comes that they don't want to go to Disney - I'll be sad, but I guess I'm going to have to find a new vacation spot that appeals to the whole family.
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I more of the dictator. Once the kids are that age, I'll tell them we'll do more of the adult rides, but in return I'd still like to catch one or two parades during trip, and then all the fireworks we can catch. They can enjoy it with me, or sulk and be miserable. But if they do the latter, I'll be sure to call over one of the characters and videotape the experience. And once I'm home, I'll post it on youtube. Mean, yes, but I think it'll work!
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We went on numerous WDW with our boys starting when they were young. When they got to be about 14, they started going to WDW without us (school, band church trips) and we went once without them. Now they are almost 20 and 17, and they are begging us to go on a "just family" WDW vacation again. So next spring, we will relive their childhood memories from WDW and make some new ones.
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Hey Jenn,
Nice to see you on here! I have done WDW with cranky teens, love-sick teens, happy teens, you name it teens over the past few years!
Feel free to shoot me an email and I would love to share my "experiences" including the time I threatened to throw the cell phone under the Spectro Magic Float (love-sick teen trip lol)
Wendy
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My kids are younger. But we often travel with my cousins and their boys are 16 and 14. The boys are good kids and usually want to stay with us. They are allowed to go off tho, with times set to come back and check in. When they are "with family" it is "family time"... no phones, no texting. when the boys go off on their own, they can take their phones and sit in a corner and text, or ride rides, or whatever. Additionally no phones or texting during dinner with family.
Trish
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Originally Posted by coloradowendyl
Hey Jenn,
Nice to see you on here! I have done WDW with cranky teens, love-sick teens, happy teens, you name it teens over the past few years!
Feel free to shoot me an email and I would love to share my "experiences" including the time I threatened to throw the cell phone under the Spectro Magic Float (love-sick teen trip lol)
Wendy
Wendy, I can so see you doing this!!!
We've had the sullen teen scenario but it wears off pretty quickly once you get there. As someone else said, maybe giving them a little freedom from you in the same park. Of course having cell phones to keep in touch and making it only for a short time initially until you know they can 1) be trusted to meet up when told and 2) find their own way around the park without you.
Letting go and giving them some freedom is so hard, and it wasn't even my kid.
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As the DM of 2 teen DS's I completely understand where you are coming from! Our last trip, 1 1/2 years go we were super concerned with our oldest, then15, with his then typical sullen attitude. But, our experience was that as long as the sullen teen has plenty of time for his teen talking & texting with friends, we gave him free reign during our down time at the resort, he seemed pretty agreeable with the rest of the trip! But his younger brother is only 1 1/2 years younger so they have each other to commiserate! But neither have expressed any disagreement to our WDW trips - quite the opposite! These 2 that have been visiting WDW since they were 4 & 6 absolutley love it still and have already asked us to confirm that we are indeed visiting next year as they are anxious to see the FL expansion in the MK! So whilst they are the typical teens, they still love WDW!
Shari
-"There's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow..."
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I know the trips won't be the same - I miss when the girls were younger and everything was so exciting for them.
My mother in law went with us for many years and I miss her - her last trip with us was about 5 years ago.
Once my girls became teenagers we stayed in value resorts- got two connecting rooms- and let them go to the park alone with their friends.
The key for us to get them to spend time with us- if they eat meals with us, I pay. If they don't join us for meals, they pay. We get to spend a little time with them each day and sometimes they stick around for a ride or show.
Until they were seniors, I didn't let them go anyplace except the parks without us. We would go to Downtown Disney together.
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Wishes!
It's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow....Where Dreams Really Do Come True
Never Forget It was All Started By A Mouse....TTFN
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