Family guilt

**Tiggerlovr9000** · 09-25-2013, 04:39 PM

As most of you know we just got back from a trip to DL. My husband has an Aunt and cousin that lives close so we always spend a couple of days with them. This was our 4th visit in 6yrs. last two times we went to the beach, this time we went to the mountains. We also took lunch to their house one afternoon. We rent a van and they drive one day and then pay a cab 50 dollars to go their house. We also invited them to DL one day and we would pay for tickets. Then the rest of the vacation we did what we had planned without them. I get the feeling that his aunt is annoyed we didn't spend more time with them. I love them but also want to do my stuff too. I know I didn't do anything wrong but can't help feeling guilty. Any advice?

Opus X · 09-25-2013, 05:26 PM

Live your life....and don't give a hoot if she is upset.
I certainly, in no way, would feel guilty.
Next time, just goto Disney

**SBETigg** · 09-25-2013, 06:11 PM

Let it go. I know it's easier said than done, but you shouldn't feel bad for doing what you needed to do. You deserve a vacation that doesn't involve hassle, stress, or keeping up with family. Family visits aren't always vacation. If you can combine them, great. There's not always enough time to do everything, and there's nothing wrong with choosing what suits you best. Plus, 4 visits in 6 years is pretty good. I think you've done a good job of keeping up with family and maintaining a healthy balance for you. No need for guilt.

But if the aunt wants more of your time, maybe it just means that she enjoys your company and she cares, not a bad thing, even better not to overdo it. You could always invite the aunt and cousin to come visit you next time.

**gerald72** · 09-25-2013, 07:22 PM

Here's my advice:
Don't feel guilty one little bit!!

**Jillirose** · 09-25-2013, 08:41 PM

I think you were thoughtful to include them on several activities on your vacation.

**GAN** · 09-25-2013, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Jillirose

I think you were thoughtful to include them on several activities on your vacation.

Absolutely. They should be content that you choose to share part of your vacation with them. My wife has an Aunt and cousins in San Diego and we stay with her for a few days, then spend 3/4 days somewhere on a getaway, and return to her house a couple days before we leave. It works for all of us -although I do believe we get the better part of the deal!

**Lindsey** · 09-26-2013, 12:52 PM

This used to happen a lot to my husband and I when we travel to China. Our first 4 trips there were almost completely taken up by family members, we barely had any time to ourselves. When we did jet off somewhere without family we would get comments like, "You're going to fly all that way just to see the terracotta for a couple of days?! So much money wasted! Just stay here with us!".

Of course we went and saw the terracotta anyways.
We decided that our elders are not always right, (that can be hard to come to in Chinese culture), and put our foot down. We promised to spend time with everyone, but we are going to have our own time too, no "buts" about it! After all, we are the ones who are taking the time and money to fly all the way from the US to China, so we should be able to do what we want on our trip! You do the same as well Tiggerlovr9000.

**DVC2004** · 09-26-2013, 01:03 PM

Aw, I'm sorry. Don't feel guilty. Sounds like you were extremely thoughtful. Yes, you definitely should not feel guilty. Family has the tendency to do that to you. It's still your vacation and you have to enjoy and do what you want, too. You are fine. Don't worry about it.