ChipDale's Cooking Lessons

[Ed]

ChipDale's (Jane's) prowess as a gourmet cook has become an integral part of Intercot lore over the past few months.

In the spirit of Intercot helpfulness, I'd like everyone to contribute their own little tips and suggestions for helping her advance in her culinary endeavors.

Here are a few I've gathered:

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Anything that makes you gag is spoiled, except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night.

<LI>When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, an egg is probably past its prime.

<LI>Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

<LI>If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, mayonnaise is spoiled.

<LI>Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled-- or wrecked, anyway-- by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

<LI>If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

<LI>Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.

<LI>Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.

<LI>A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

<LI>Wine should not taste like salad dressing.

<LI>Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

<LI>If you can take chip dip out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.[/list]

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:

Most food cannot be kept longer than the average lifespan of a hamster.

Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.



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Ed, aka TiggTigg5
[email protected]
Intercot Staff Imagineer

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying !

[BAMABOY]

Keep in mind that pizza delivery is free at most locations!

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BAMABOY aka Todd
~~~RAMMER JAMMER YELLOW HAMMER
GIVE EM' #$&* ALABAMA!!~~~
WDW 10 Times and counting

"It's me. You know, the guy looking for a girl in blue. Have you seen the other intercoties, I can't find anybody!"

[M&L23]

Furry rodents (like rats, gophers and squirrels) do not go well with tofu and blueberries


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Liz ºoº

'83, '86, '90, '92,twice December 96, and '97
March, April May 2000
Honeymoon December 2000 at ASMo, CS, & WL
April 2001
May 2001 PO-Riverside
Next trip-Night of Joy'01-CS
December 2001-ASMu
&lt;&gt;&lt;

[BAMABOY]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by M&L23:
Furry rodents (like rats, gophers and squirrels) do not go well with tofu and blueberries


<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
But when cooked correctly they do taste like chicken!



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BAMABOY aka Todd
~~~RAMMER JAMMER YELLOW HAMMER
GIVE EM' #$&* ALABAMA!!~~~
WDW 10 Times and counting

"It's me. You know, the guy looking for a girl in blue. Have you seen the other intercoties, I can't find anybody!"

[hope2survive]

Soup should drain through a slotted spoon.

Gravy should be brown or off-white, never gray.

You should not need to use a jack-hammer to slice a cake.

When the instructions on a package say to add the noodle and spice packets, that means to open them and add the contents, don't just throw the entire package into the pot.

Any food that moves of its own accord is unsafe to eat.

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Mike
1st trip 1978 - 10 years old
2nd trip July 7-14, 2000 @CBR 32 years old
3rd trip May 4-13, 2001 @DxL & AKL

[ChipDale]

Okay, Ed, when I saw this topic I couldn't stop laughing! How did you know? I'll be sure to use these tips in my new cooking school...so keep 'em coming!

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Jane

[Ian]

If the restaurant you originally got the take-out food in the back of your refridgerator from is now closed, don't eat it.

Mold is not a food group.

If you chip a tooth on dinner, chances are it's no good.



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Ian: aka WDWacky, aka Iam, aka The Fish Phobe
Intercot Moderator - Collectables and Mousellaneous
[email protected]

Hi ... I'm WDWacky, a reformed pinaholic and leader of the Let's Plan the 2002 Odyssey Now movement.

NO BAD DANCING!!!!

For more great Disney info be sure to visit our sister sites Webdisney

And for more info on the park that started it all visit Intercot West

And for all your Disney travel needs be sure to book through Kingdom Magic Travel !!

[JimmyC]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TiggTigg5:


Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So it's OK to eat the green fuzzy stuff?



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I See Glittery People

[Ed]

Now, I'm not saying that this applies ONLY to ChipDale's cooking....

You know you are a lousy cook if....<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI>Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren

<LI>Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.

<LI>Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like.

<LI>Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.

<LI>Your kids favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

<LI>You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle .

<LI>Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.

<LI>Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags.

<LI>Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.

<LI>No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.

<LI>You burned the house down trying to make jelly.[/list]


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Ed, aka TiggTigg5
[email protected]
Intercot Staff Imagineer

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying !

[Dizneyana]

Ed?? Do you know these things from experience???

Here's a few more:

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI> Bread should not have fur.
<LI> You do not need to rinse spaghetti noodles before cooking.
<LI> If there is any question as to something's identity - it's bad - throw it away.
<LI> Don't ask someone "Are you going to eat this?? If not, I am just going to throw it away." Just throw it away.
<LI> Warning - If you discover a bag of cauliflower or broccoli in your vegetable drawer that has been there for an extended period of time - DO NOT OPEN IT - If you do, you'll likely have to move, and so will most of your neighbors.[/list]



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Tracey AKA Ðiz...

"To all that come to this
happy place, welcome!"

Disneyland: 400+ times
WDW: 1994

[Patricia]

Wow.. good thing you mentioned the potatoes.. I thought the plant was a bonus.

Don't feel bad Jane.. you are not alone.

My rule of thumb for cleaning the fridge: Only peaches should be fuzzy.

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Patricia
(alias: Patriciafallsalot)
[email protected]
Intercot Staff and <A HREF="http://www.intercotwest.com" TARGET=_blank>Intercotwest
Staff</A>

Do I get to be a Princess if I marry a Prince... even if I'm Goofy??

Remember... No Bad Dancing!


Visit all of our family sites:

Intercot: Walt Disney World Inside & Out
Intercotwest: Disneyland Inside & Out
Webdisney: The Definitive Guide To Disney On The Internet
Intercot Radio: Featuring the sounds of the Disney Theme Parks!

[beth]

We have a rule in the house, if it tastes "wrong" or "funny" we immediately throw it again. I know this is a funny thread, but seriously, sometimes you can't tell when something goes bad and your meal just tastes a little "off". Don't think, "hmmm. It's just me." Toss it. I've had too many bad experiences and I've finally learned from it.

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beth
[email protected]
Intercot Staff Member

"Love and Mercy that's what you need tonight. So Love and Mercy to you and your friends tonight."

For more fun on all things Disney, check out our sister site, www.webdisney.com

For fun and info on the land that started it all check out our sister site: www.intercotwest.com

[DisneyWizard]

And always remember - there are Boston Market Meals out there that just require microwaving them.

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-Casey
(Kc, Wizzy, DizWiz)

"...I say believe in the future. The world is getting better."
-Walt Disney

[PolyGirl40]

Poor Jane!

Your screen door can also double as a handy cheese-grater

In a pinch, frozen water can substitute for ice

Steak + Crest does *not* equal "steak tartare

Forget to pack the grill? No problem -- just spritz some olive oil on your engine block and you'll be cooking in no time..

Sorry, Jim & Ed made me do it

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~Carol
"To get to the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain."

[Beast_fanatic]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PolyGirl40:

Your screen door can also double as a handy cheese-grater

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It can also be used as a strainer. Tennis rackets also work well for this.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PolyGirl40:

Steak + Crest does *not* equal "steak tartare

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Loved this one!


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Rhonda

[JimmyC]

Is it true the toxic-train derailment near Baltamore was Jane's Soup of the Day?

I ate the fuzzy cheese. No ill effects.

But the walls are telling me to 'Shoot The Weasel' and I can't find the volume gerbil.......

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I See Glittery People

[pjbs35a]

I'll have to come to the defensive for ChipDale:



I have always enjoyed everything I have eaten that ChipDale has cooked!



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Frankie aka pjbs35a
Intercot Staff:
News, Rumours & Imagineering
<A HREF="mailto:
[email protected]">
[email protected]</A>


“Far better it is to dare mighty things,
to win glorious triumphs,
even though checkered by failure,
than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the gray twilight
that knows not victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt


FIRST TRIP 1980 - LAST TRIP 2001 - NEXT TRIP - IN PLANNING STAGES
Romans 8:31

[Dizneyana]

Jim....

Monitor cleaner please....

I just saw your new sig.....

I can hear you whispering it, and it just KILLS me!!!

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Tracey AKA Ðiz...

"To all that come to this
happy place, welcome!"

Disneyland: 400+ times
WDW: 1994

[WDWaddict]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TiggTigg5:
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI>You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle .
[/list]


<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This made me laugh so hard that I had an asthma attack! Where do you find this stuff?


JimmyC, i LOVE your new sig!



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°o° Angie - WDWaddict °o°

~mother of two already addicted little boys~

** I suffer from serious deep rooted Disney related issues.**

[ChipDale]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pjbs35a:
I'll have to come to the defensive for ChipDale:



I have always enjoyed everything I have eaten that ChipDale has cooked! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks Frankie! So, does this mean you're my first guinea...er...student to sign up for my classes?



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Jane