Angry with attendance policies

[mdhiggin]

Our trip is two weeks away, and I spoke with someone who worked at my child's school about missing while we were gone. She told me to lie. She said the policy had gotten so bad that everyone got 0s for an unexcused absence, even kindergartners. What?! She said to tell them that our child was sick. I wanted to be able to work with the school during the absence, but now I feel guilty about this lie. I'm going to have to even ask my kids to lie when they come back if the teacher asks why they were out. This is not right. The school systems get money for attendance, so they don't allow any room for family time. I feel like they are getting too far into a family's business. My husband says if they push it too far we'll homeschool. They punish everyone instead of dealing directly with the people who have excessive absences. I take school very seriously and don't let my children miss unless they're sick or the few days a year we go on a trip, but I'm very angry about this policy. It's putting a damper on my upcoming trip.
One of the teachers complained about their school's policy at church one night, saying that kids were coming to school sick. She had one with 104 temp. that week who said he'd be fine and that the day was almost over.

[MickeyMomof2]

I wouldn't lie. You are the parents and it is your right to take your kids on a trip if you want to. If your kids are in elementary school, what their report card says isn't going to have any kind of impact on their ability to achieve success in the future. Of course, you will need to discuss with them why some of their grades are lower than they should be. I would also talk to the teacher. Some teachers are more flexible than others, even within the district policy.

And for the record, I am a former teacher and I highly value education. However, I also value family, and it is the parent's right to make decisions for the family. We are very fortunate. Our system allows up to 5 "family" days every year.

[thumperbug]

We pulled my son out of school last December for our trip. He was in Kindergarten at the time. I wrote a note ahead of time advising he would be out and got his homework from his teacher.

Somehow the attendance office didn't get my note and called me on my cell to see if my son was "ok". I told them we were on vacation....by the reaction I got you would have thought that I told them he had commited a major crime. I explained that I got all his work from his teacher and he had completed it (even thought his teacher told us not to worry about the homework and to have a good time).

So, at the end of the year, his last report card listed all his excused and unexcused absenses and of course..there were 5 for our trip. Nothing has come of it. But I agree....the schools tend to overreact a bit. He was in Kindergarten.

But I have to say, every trip I go on to WDW, no matter what time of year it is, I meet tons of familied who pulled their kids out of school for a trip. So don't worry about it.

If you don't want to lie, just say you have a family commitment. Which is the truth.

Have fun!!

[Tiggerlovr9000]

I totally agree with you. I think that if I want to pull my child out for family time and they are getting good grades then it shouldn't be a problem. Our school has a policy that if they are sick with out a doctors note then it is unexcused. When they just have a cold they don't need to see the doctor just alot of rest and juice. This is causing alot of parents to send their children to school sick which helps make everyone else sick. Someone should really get some common sense. Funding should not be based on attendence. I also don't like having to teach my child to lie so we can have some special family time..

[Ian]

I agree totally. The whole attendance thing has gotten way out of hand. They need to chill.

We're fortunate in that our school district works well with the parents in these situations. We took DD out a few times during her kindergarten time last year and they worked with us with no trouble at all.

[Sunshine1010]

I took my son out for 5 days when he was in Kindergarten to go to WDW. Told the Principal, told the teacher......

....the Attendance Supervisor threatened to put me in jail if I did it again.

[Puppy Mom]

I both agree AND disagree with some of the things said above.

I agree that parents certainly have the right to decide what is best for their family, but some families have better judgement than others.

Also, decisions have consequences. If you chose to remove your child from school they will miss some instruction time and possibly test or quizes. That would be YOUR choice and you and your child should be willing to accept the consequences.

Also, I do NOT think that it is the responsibility of any teacher to do extra work so your family can go on vacation. If a teacher can just take a few minutes to write down chapters to read or pull a few worksheets and they want to, then that is fine, but for parents to expect teachers to do extra work because they can't take their family vacation during the MANY weeks that there is no school is selfish.

[TexasPrincessAurora]

Wow...unbelievable. Gee, makes you wonder whether they think the parents are really in charge of their own kids. Family is so important. Somehow everyone can't see that. I hope you have a great time on your trip and that your kids have a magical time!

[Puppy Mom]

OF COURSE parents are in charge of their own children, but personal decisions have consequences. If these parents took their vacations during the MANY weeks that school is not in session, there would be no school problem.

If they cannot or CHOSE not to , then it is the family/student who needs to be willing to bear the consequences of missed school.

If you believe that your child does not need the instruction that will be given that whole week, then fine. But don't complain if your kid is behind when you return. Whose choice was that? Not the schools.

[Tygger7]

Also, I do NOT think that it is the responsibility of any teacher to do extra work so your family can go on vacation. If a teacher can just take a few minutes to write down chapters to read or pull a few worksheets and they want to, then that is fine, but for parents to expect teachers to do extra work because they can't take their family vacation during the MANY weeks that there is no school is selfish.

I would just like to interject something....some of us don't have the luxury of always being able to schedule our family vacations around the school year calendar. My DH has to work around project schedules, which change from year to year. In order to take a family vacation this year, we HAD to go in mid-May, or not go at all. As a result, we pulled our DD15 out of high school (9th grade) for 10 days. We never expected the teacher to do "extra" work...simply provide their lesson plans/outlines for the time she was out. Again, and please keep in mind we have many friends who are teachers, we don't expect the teachers to put together special work or lessons, just work with us and give us a basic outline of what she needs to make up.

I know there are strong feelings on both sides of the arguement with taking kids out of school. Ultimately, you are the parent and you pay taxes for your child to go to school....and you also know your child and your family. For us, family comes first....I've never regretted taking the opportunity to spent time together as a family. We have so little time with our children, and then they're grown and gone, raising families of their own. I don't know of anyone whose parents pulled them out of school (or conversely, a parent who took their child out for a vacation) look back and say, "Gee, I wish I'd spent that time in school than on vacation with my family." Life is precious, and we have no guarantees of a tomorrow....live today and savor every second you have with your kids. You may not have tomorrow.

[tmosier]

I agree! You never know whether or not you will wake up tomorrow, so take family time when it fits your schedule and budget best! While school is incredibly important, family time is supreme.

This does assume however that the student is generally not a problem in the classroom, does not have too many other absences, works hard, and would not suffer too much by being gone.

[bouncer]

I agree with savoring the moment as well as work commitments prohibiting vacations during the "MANY" weeks off of school (I started the thread asking if your school's spring break was at Easter). As I stated in that thread my job only allows me to be on vacation mid-month. I don't want to go to WDW in July-we don't handle heat/humidity well. Can't go during Christmas break 'cause of work. Many of the school off days interfere with my work schedule. As much as I wouldn't want to inconvience a wonderful teacher sometimes it may be a necessary evil to afford our own family time. Carpe Diem!!

[Georgesgirl1]

Also, I do NOT think that it is the responsibility of any teacher to do extra work so your family can go on vacation. If a teacher can just take a few minutes to write down chapters to read or pull a few worksheets and they want to, then that is fine, but for parents to expect teachers to do extra work because they can't take their family vacation during the MANY weeks that there is no school is selfish.

I am a teacher and I don't mind when a kid who is hardly ever absent and is on level misses a few days for a family vacation. I even had one kid who missed a month to visit his grandfather in another country for his 80th birthday (He had to withdraw and re-enroll when he came back). I have been know to take a few personal days here and there for a vacation as well.

But it frustrates me to no end when parents want me to come up with all of the work that their child will miss for them to do! I don't always know what we will do weeks in advance because the class may need to spend more time on a subject they are struggling with. As a parent they made the decision to pull their kids out- I didn't! I don't mind giving them a basic idea like we will be working on subtraction with regrouping or simple machines in science, but some parents expect a packet of work with all the worksheets and page numbers we will do for every day they miss! Don't make the teacher do extra work so that you can go on vacation!

[tinksmom02]

What timing--I just put a letter in DD6's backpack for her to give to her teacher on Monday. We pulled her out for a week last year (kindergarten), and her teacher was vdry excited for us. Hopefully her 1st grade teacher feels the same way, but if not, oh, well...

Our school's schoolwork policy is to give the work when the kids return back to school, and the kids have as long as they were out to make it up (eg, if they miss three days, they have three days to turn in the work).

My letter nicely asks the teacher if there is anything in general that DD could be working on while we're away, and that we will be more than happy to have her make up any work she'll miss. If she chooses to send the work home early, then we'll take it with us. If not, she can make it up when she comes back.

The district allows 10 unexcused absences a year. DD used 5 for WDW and 2 for a bad head cold in January. Hopefully we'll be just as lucky this year!

My only gripe is that we missed Back to School night last year. So I booked this trip a week earlier, thinking B-t-S would be around the same time. Guess what? I'm missing it again.

[DizneeRX]

OF COURSE parents are in charge of their own children, but personal decisions have consequences. If these parents took their vacations during the MANY weeks that school is not in session, there would be no school problem.

If they cannot or CHOSE not to , then it is the family/student who needs to be willing to bear the consequences of missed school.

If you believe that your child does not need the instruction that will be given that whole week, then fine. But don't complain if your kid is behind when you return. Whose choice was that? Not the schools.

I couldn't agree more!

[buzznwoodysmom]

We've taken our kids out of school several times and it has always worked out well. Now that they are getting older (1st and 3rd grades this year) I can see that it will be harder to justify them missing a whole week of school for a vacation. Just making up all the missed work was a job in itself, preparing them to make up any missed tests was even worse. We'll probably still take them out from time to time, but we'll definitely think hard about taking them out for a whole week every year like we used to.

All that said I do think as a parent it is your right to decide if and when you take your kids out of school for a family vacation. However, like someone else posted it is also your reponsibility to deal with whatever consequences come with that. While I would never not let a student make up missed tests, I do think the school as well as the teachers have every right to tell you how missed work will be made up and if missed tests will be allowed to be made up. It's not like they are telling you that your child can not miss school for a family vacation, they are simply letting you know what to expect should you take them out. Anyway that's just my !

[mdhiggin]

My wife posted this originally but after reading these posts I realize that a lot of people agree with us.

I have a VERY strict work schedule which revolves around supporting our military. I have times that come up when I am not allowed to take vacation. These can be very long periods of time and I never complain because those periods are never as long for me as they are for the deployed soldiers.

I just wonder if you are saying I should not be allowed to vacation with my family at all? How about those soldiers who are gone 18 months at a time and then are home for a short period and sent back again?

My Mom is a teacher so I understand it is a tough job. I also think that the school system has gone too far in the wrong direction to "protect" kids. Some parents make great decisions with their kids and some parents are lazy and have their kids miss school because they don't want to take them.

I understand that this happens. Why don't the systems single out the "bad" parents from the parents in my situation or our military men and womens' predicaments?

On another note, why is this always looked at from a child's perspective when it is discussed. How much does it slow a classroom when a teacher is forced to miss days? When my child has a substitute because the teacher is out for an extended period is that time ever made up to them? Does the school system "owe" me an explanation for why the teacher was out and my child lost several of their limited education days with a substitute teacher?

I understand that the above scenario sounds a little heartless and mean but can you see how the reverse may sound a little like that to me? How can a substitute be prepared for teaching our children if the teacher has no real plan for what the class will be doing for the next 5-10 days? I know that giving out exact paperwork for a 5-10 day period may be tough and I don't expect that but to say that a teacher has to do a ton of extra work to give the parent a loose outline of what will be covered sounds like a little bit of a stretch to me.

I understand that education is important and as parents most of us put as much time and effort into our kids getting one as their teachers do. I also think that having my children be with their family away from the hustle and bustle of daily work life is educational. I want my kids to learn what it means to be a man or a woman and a father or mother. What it truly means to be a family and what it takes to keep a family together and happy.

If the only time I have to do this doesn't unfortunately fall in the school's approved calendar of vacation days should I never do this? Should my children be punished because their father does not have a job that is flexible on when they can or cannot be off? I respect teachers as I have watched my Mom suffer through the joys and pains of teaching for almost 30 years now. I also however feel that I am the head of my household and I am in charge of when my family does things. If it is too much work for the teacher to give out work and grade work outside the window that they do that for other students then it can be our responsibility to make sure our children catch up.

I do not think the school has the right to give my kid 0's or say that I have to lie to take my child on vacation. I am certainly not trying to pick on you but I feel that thinking the whole world can vacation by the school calendar or suffer the consequences is more than a little arrogant though. I hope no one takes this as an attack on puppy mom because that is certainly not my intention. I think everyone has a right to their opinions and I respect the fact that is how she feels but I have also had this conversation with several people who share her opinion and I get frustrated.

I also know that this is not a teacher decision but a school system decision so I am not trying to direct this at teachers. Most of the time our kids teachers work great with us because they know what I do. I just hate that a teacher is put in the awkward position by the systems decisions. I don't want to ask them to do anything that makes them break the rules.

[Marilyn Michetti]

It was really easy when our kids were in school. Both trips in the 80's were in Oct., and nobody cared.

[buzznwoodysmom]

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention in my post. I would never lie to the school about it. Chances are that if you child were to miss a whole week of school because they were sick you would have taken them to the doctor and have a doctor's excuse. If the school system is so strict I would guess that even in the event that your child misses school because of an illness they would still not be able to make up any tests without a doctor's excuse. Lieing to the school about my kids missing and having my kids lie about it as well, is just something I would never even for a second consider. I think it is horrible that someone actually suggested you do that. My kids are so excited about their trips they could never keep it a secret and would probably spill the beans by talking about it when we returned. Don't lie to the school, just tell them that these are your children, you know what is best for them and at this time you think that this family vacation is more important than being in the classroom. Tell them that you would be more than happy to help you children make up all their missed work and tests as to not fall behind. If you child is a good student they should be able to bring up their grades even if they get 0's on their tests for that week.

And I don't think anyone here is suggesting that you or your children don't deserve a vacation or should be punished because you can't vacation at other times. Your family is more than deserving of this vacation I am sure. My hubby is in the military so I know how crazy schedules can be. I just think that for the most part most of us here think it's your child, you make the decision that is best for you, but just like everything else in life there may be consequences for that. When we had kids we knew that there would be lots of things we wouldn't be able to do the same anymore. As they get older, taking trips to WDW anytime we would like is one of those things unfortunately.

[MegaDisney]

Not to stir the pot, but is taking kids out of school for family trips a fairly new thing?

I made it all the way through school (K-12) going on vacations and trips only during school breaks and over the summer. My parents never took us out of school for any reason other than a funeral or if we were sick.