Husband is a Disney grouch

[fabfundisney]

What should I do? DH does not see the point in going to WDW more than once in a lifetime and definitely not more than twice. He believes that I enjoy it more than the kids and for this reason thinks the whole thing is a waste of money. I know this is untrue, my kids LOVE DISNEY and can't wait to get back. How do I convince him? Should I just pay for the vacation on my own and leave the grouch at home? He's mentioned before that he will go again but still does not see the point. Its wierd, once we get there, he becomes totally excited. How can I get him to agree with me prior to us driving through the gates of MK? I really want to plan together this time. Help!!!

[laward32]

I completely understand your frustration. My husband is the same way. He does not want to step foot at WDW ever again. My two girls keep asking when are we going back and I just tell them to ask their daddy. We went in Oct last year and left him at home. Our future trips will probably be without him as well. I do think I have talked him into a 7 day land/sea package for christmas of 2009. Well just have to see.

[dnickels]

I don't think there's anything wrong with him staying home, maybe there's an aunt or uncle or grandparents that would like to go.

Some people like it, some don't. It'd be the same situation if you hated camping and your husband loved to go off and spend a week in the woods. In that situation you wouldn't want to be forced to go with him would you?

[Young@Heart]

If my DH was like yours, I'd probably just leave him home. My stepdad can be like this, and my poor Mom doesn't go anywhere. She won't go w/out him, but he won't go with her.

I told myself I'd never go through this. If my DH becomes a grumpy stick-in-the-mud regarding WDW, I'll just go w/ DC and leave him at home!

[disneymom15]

I agree, leave him at home if he doesn't want to go. My husband enjoys going but not as often as I like to go. My daughter and I have taken many trips without him.

[Deesdisney]

I have this problem too. So last year I went with my SIL and NIE . If he doesnt want to go I will find someone else as long as I have the money to do his vacation too. He is going next year (I think) but the next year me and my best friend will. Or I will go to CA to see relatives and go to Disneyland. I always find ways around it.

[buzznwoodysmom]

My DH used to be that way to an extent. Our first few trips were jam packed with little to no time to relax and by the end of the trip he would be saying "I'm not coming back here again" or "It will be a long time until you get me back here". However, as we got wiser and took time to do things other than the parks the more he enjoyed the trips. For Thanksgiving I surprised him with golf lessons at Shades of Green since he had been wanting to take up golfing. We also took a few days off to explore the resort we were staying at and other resorts on our last several trips. He really enjoyed the down time and getting off the beaten path. My mom and I even took my boys to WDW without DH one year and he admitted that while we were gone he wished he had come with us. Just this week he actually suggested going back for Mardi Gras. Maybe try to do things to cater to your husband's likes and interests and he'll get more out of the trip. DH has been having trouble with his shoulder and on our trip this June he was grumpy, most likely because he was in pain from his shoulder. Anyway I ended up buying him a t-shirt that says "I'm bringing Grumpy back". You could always get that as a souviener for your DH if you decide to visit without him. Good luck!

[Vicki Mouse]

My DH wants to have a new experience this year. In order for me to get my 1 Disney day I had to agree to 2 days at Universal. I'm already sure I will not enjoy it but I do get to have my way too! I'm hoping the Magic will outweigh the misery.

[pink]

I don't have a grumpy DH but I have a grump family! They enjoy Disney World to an extent and then that's it. They would rather relax on a beach while I just want fun and adventure, just sun bathing is boring to me. When we would go they wouldn't even take advantage of EMH I would have to drag them to come out with me!

[RAIDER]

Take him to Universal Studios and see if he can get a job as the Grinch

[Vito]

I feel bad for those of you who's spouses don't love WDW as much as you do!

I'm no relationship counselor, nor am I married, so don't listen to my advice, but I do think it's important that you try and stay positive about it. Propose to him/her that you take the kids on a short trip there yourself - tell him/her that it's something you really love, and even if they don't understand it, it's something that you care about and need to have in your life. Communication is the key, and be sensitive to your partner's needs as well. I know sometimes conversations like that can be hard, (and knowing how my parents are), being straightforward and talking candidly with a spouse is something that can be difficult.

I think it's important to remember that as much as you may love someone, there's always a time to do your own personal thing, and if your spouse doesn't want to go to WDW with you, hopefully they can understand your need to take a trip with a friend or with the kids and perhaps your spouse can take a trip with his/her friends. Not all vacations need to be taken together

Of course, I totally understand that it won't be feasible for some of you to do that, and I can just say I hope you get to WDW somehow again someday!!

For me, I am single, but knowing what a Disney freak I am, I'm not sure I could ever marry who doesn't love Disney like I do, or at least have her want to take trips there every couple of years. Of course I don't know what's going to happen or who I will meet, but it would be devastating to me not to have someone who didn't enjoy sharing Disney with me!

And if any of you lovely ladies would like a friendly escort on your trip, I'll happily join you. (If you pay all my expenses of course )

[mouseketeer mom]

My husband doesn't feel it the same way I do, but he's come around alot. He still likes the idea of seeing many other places...and its really a delicate balance! In July we went to Colorado to explore the Rockies and my husband loved it...I ended up really liking it too..but then again, I knew I had Disney in August to look forward to. When in Disney, I remember to plan days to take it slow., and I also book experiences I know he will love, like Cirque and Dives at Epcot. I also "let" him pick the resort..(he always goes back to the Poly, and he picked WL for Thanksgiving this year)..He appreciates Disney now, and has alot of fun while we are there, and looks forward to our trips. Me, well, I am just over the top with it, and can't expect him to feel the same way..and thats OK..so long as we can keep going!

[Rekenna]

Secretly my DH loves WDW, we went many years ago and he was ho-hum about it. We went again in 2006 (I super planned this trip to the detail) and we have been by ourselves 2x and have another family trip planned in September. I never thought I would get him to turn to the "light side"!

The guys he works with tease him b/c every time we go on vacation we go to WDW, he gets very defensive about it-that's how I know that he loves it!

Maybe your DH too will find the "light side", if not, ditch him at home and take the kids. He'll regret being a grouch when you guys get back in super great spirits! Life's too short-don't sweat it-have fun!

[MNNHFLTX]

If he truly does not enjoy Disney World trips as much as you do, it may not be realistic to expect him to get excited about them, let alone help you plan them. My husband has gone on many trips with us all as a family and although he keeps a happy and positive attitude, I know he just does not get into it the same way my son and I do. So there are times when we go without him and there have been times when I go with friends. There are enough other places we all love to travel together to that it doesn't matter to me if we go to WDW or Disneyland together every time.

[CaptainJessicaSparrow]

And this is an example of why I need to marry someone from work who loves Disney as much as I do.

Not only will they understand the scheduling of working 24/7/365 and going in at 9pm and getting off at 6am, but they'd be able to better understand exactly why I keep working there.

I agree that perhaps a trip without him would be best, or plan a trip where he comes but book events and packages for him such as visiting during spring training at WWOS, or golf packages, or even spa packages (hey, men like massages too). What about more dining options such as visitng during Food and Wine Festival? Or doing more adult things like Atlantic Dance, Jellyrolls and ESPN? Have you seen La Nouba yet? Maybe plan for other things that might be different that just walking around the parks and riding rides such as the backstage tours or cruises for fireworks?

[IamBelle]

He sounds like my dad!! We had such a hard time getting him to plan it, but after us constantly nagging him, he finally gave in!!

[RBrooksC]

I know some people who thought the same way about Disney. So, my friend, who is my age and in her mid-30s, never went to Disney as a child. Her first experience was when she went with her husband and children about two years ago.

The reason, I was told by her parents, is the cost of Disney could be put towards a trip to Europe and who wouldn't rather go to Europe than Disney.

Well, I don't remember the conversation much after that but I can say, I have never been to Europe and I couldn't care less about ever going to Europe.

[Mousemates]

Hello group, my name is mousemates and I too was once a disney grouch.

Well, now that confession time is over, let explain how I went from a growling husband and dad (too many people , everything is overpriced $$$, whats the point in going there again...yada, yada, yada) to someone who now enjoys Most Things Mouse.

About four years ago I had planned a trip to California (to help finish off our family's quest to visit all of the lower 48 states before the kids were in high school), when my wife chimed in that if we were going to California, then we would need to build a couple of days to visit Disneyland into the schedule. My knee-jerk reaction to this was "Why in the world would any of us want to spend two of our California days visiting the "smaller lesser version" of something we had done many times in Florida already..i.e WDW."

I went on to try to explain to my wife that not everyone in the family had the same infatuation with Disney that she had(assuming my kids felt the same way I did) and that it was unfair to project her "disneyitis" on the rest of us.

I then said, I’m not going to go to the expense of going ot California just to spend time in an amusement park when there is so much else to see….if that’s the way you feel about, why not just go to WDW and forget about California.

At that point I did something that forever altered our family vacation plans (and which I learned never to do again :smile: ). I called in the kids and put our vacation plans to a vote… again assuming that our kids who had never flown in an airplane, seen the pacific ocean, visited Hollywood, or seen giant redwoods would choose CA handsdown….well, the vote was three to one to just spend a week at WDW.

Needless to say, I was stunned. And it was at that point I realized that it was not my wife projecting her wants on everyone else, it was me projecting my wants on them. It was also at that point that I made a decision of the will to quit complaining (well almost) about the crowds, prices, etc and to enjoy with my family the stuff they really liked.

So, I went on that trip with a fresh attitude and when I saw the tears in my wife’s eyes when I upgraded to a Savannah view room at the AKL I realized that I had done the right thing. In fact on that trip we named her queen of WDW and had a surprise coronation ceremony in which I gave her a scepter (a silver mickey pancake shaper I found at a garage sale), my daughter gave her a Cinderella princess crown and my son gave her a pair of Minnie Mouse House Shoes. It was a great trip.

It was also on this trip that my wife made a few extra accommodations for our stay which made the trip far more enjoyable on my part….some of which -given the family nature of our boards- will remain unmentioned. ( However, while I’m in the general area let me say that some spouses might become unenthusiastic about upcoming Disney vacations because of "the whole family in the same motel room" thing for seven nights in a row... But Disney can help in this area too…especially if you choose a resort that has a kids club service to allow mom and dad to have a date night while vacating.

But the biggest accommodation she made was to build some non-theme park days into our schedule and have some actual down time to either chill at the pool or lounge around the resort (I love those lakeside hammocks at the CBR and Polynesian…and doing the hokey vacation stuff like renting paddle boats and surrey bikes). You see, it turned out my biggest issue with Disney was the fact that I came back from there so wiped-out that I needed a real vacation to recover…but when we changed the pace from a daily “sunrise to midnight park-fest “ it helped a whole lot.

Not sure if any of this will help your Disney grouch or not, but maybe some part of it will resonate with your situation. There are obviously some things he likes about the place given your orginal post…just try to figure out how to overcome or at least lessen whatever his own personal dislikes happen to be.

By the way, that California trip did eventually take place…and we did do two days at Disneyland while we were there…and I did enjoy that too.

[Vito]

And this is an example of why I need to marry someone from work who loves Disney as much as I do.

Hmm, you're looking to marry someone who loves Disney as much as you, and I'm looking to marry someone who loves Disney as much as me. This gives me an idea...

How about...

You and I...

Get together...

and compare notes on how to find a Disney-obsessed person to marry?

[CaptainJessicaSparrow]

Lol, that would work but I see a problem already.

The majority of the people who go to Disney are already married with families.

And unless Disney develops a singles-only cruise, I don't think it'd be that easy to find some who likes Disney.

Unless we got those little rotating light-things to say "I'm Single!"