teen help

[tianna88]

I had a question... not sure if this is in the right forum but here goes,
We are planning a trip to DW in Dec. ( me DH, DD 15,and DD 3)
We were hoping to take a friend for the 15yr old but no one can come. Now the 15 yr old is saying she doesn't want to come. Has anyone taken a teen and had this prob? We want to go as a family.( and DH and I don't want to go alone with a 3 yr old and not ride any big rides together ) Are there any suggestions to help with a grumpy teen? Any clubs or things she can do? Or shall I just tell her too bad we are going to the happiest place on earth

[PirateLover]

She may moan and complain leading up to it, but I think that once she gets there she'll relax and enjoy herself. I went with my parents when I was 16. No siblings or friends. Of course I felt funny at first but once I allowed myself to be a kid, I had a blast. Good luck!

[Janmac]

We just got back from the World with our 17 yr old grandson. He wanted to go but he also felt a bit grumpy at times while there - especially when our 4 yr old grandniece was unhappy.

He has been to Disney several times, so knows his way around. About the 3rd day he was sleeping through our breakfast ADRs and meeting us at our park of choice. He wasn't quite ready to tour on his own but he did enjoy having some time in the resort arcade some evenings. He stayed up late watching tv and slept in the afternoons.

Has your daughter been to Disney before? Does she have particular interests? Perhaps she can be the official photographer. Or maybe the navigator, if she's into maps. She might be the person to check the entertainment schedules.

We saw lots of the hair wraps and face painting when we were at Disney. Maybe that might be interesting.

She could also be on the lookout for cool Christmas gifts for her close friends too, while you and DH ride a big ride.

Sometimes you do have to say family trip and let the grumpiness pass on its own.

Good luck!

Jan

[sndral]

"DH and I don't want to go alone with a 3 yr. old and not ride any big rides together." Are you taking the 15 yr. old as a handy babysitter? I'm sure she adores her little sister (and the little one probably worships her,) but I assume 3 yrs ago your 15 yr old was an only child, quite an adjustment to now be a big sister and they're so, well, moody and self conscious at that age. I think I'd ask her what would make this special for her, maybe a spa visit (Saratoga, GF) with you to celebrate the young lady she is becoming, or maybe horseback riding, the important thing is that she get's to pick something special for her. If she's interested, I'd also get her involved in the planning like helping pick out ADRs. The years go by so fast and in just a few years she'll be out of the house/off to college, if it were me I'd let her know just how special it was to me to spend time together as a family.

[tianna88]

Thanks for the help everyone. I am sure once she gets there she will be loving it. I just wanted her to go with us because I have no idea how many other big family vacations we will all go on in the next little while. This will be the last time she can miss a bit of school and I think Christmas will be a magical time to spend together as a family. I think I will let her pick something special. After all it is a family vacation. Do you think there will be a chance of a water park day? 2nd or 3rd week of Dec, I know she would love that and now we don't have one here so maybe that or a princess makeover (that she mentioned ) since her friend isn't coming to judge

[BigRedDad]

15 is a difficult age. The last thing she wants to do is be stuck with the family and not her friends. One of the biggest problems I read is that you need her to be a babysitter so you and DH can ride big rides together. Have you considered that this is not something she wants? I think the better approach would be to realize that you will not be able to do this too often. Or, another way to sell this to your DD15 is that you want to use baby-swap. You and DH can ride, then she can swap in by herself after you get off.

My advice would be to get her involved in the planning process. The hardest part will get her to agree that she is going and that is final. Once past that hurdle, get involved in what she wants to do and how you can plan to that. Let her stay at the resort some of the time and meet you later. Decide on mornings or evenings where she watches DD3 so you two can go hit the big rides you want alone. Then, give her the time she needs to get away. By doing this, you may find that she meets other kids her age in the same situation. Together they may be able to head to a park or DTD as a group.

In order to make it enjoyable, you have to convince her she will have a good time and that she has some say in what she can do.

[Magic Smiles]

Our son is 16 and has always gone alone with us, he wouldn't have it any other way. I definitley would not use your DD as a babysitter, maybe get a babysitter for DD 3 and spend a special day with DD 15. There of course will always be times when they are "Bored". If you have a car, maybe take DD 15 shopping for a day. What teenage girl wouldn't love that and the Florida Mall is AMAZING.

[7swans]

I know December weather can vary, but we went the 3rd week of December in 2006, and it was hot! Our teens enjoyed the water parks allot.
For part of the day you and your DH could split up, one of you taking off with your teen, and one of you with your 3 year old. Perhaps if she feels her needs have been met, she won't mind giving you and your DH a little time by yourselves.
She will be grown up and gone before you know it, it would be a great chance to really focus on her. Your little one would prefer this arrangement as well, as opposed to waiting in line for adult rides.

[thrillme]

Have you had her check the teen section on these Intercot boards? Maybe there's a fellow teen going about the same time with the same issue? Maybe your two families could meet up and she'll find a new friend.

It's a long shot but why not.

[goofgal]

Why don't you turn the baby swap around to her advantage? For instance, the 4 of you get in line together. One of the parents keeps the 3-year old while the other parent and the 16-year old ride. Then the 16-year old can ride again with the other parent.

What 16-year old wouldn't love to ride TOT twice in a row?

[tianna88]

These are all good ideas. Just for clearing things up we are not intending to use DD as a babysitter for the little one. We all want to ride the big rides together ( no one wants to ride alone ) We may ask her for one or two evenings to help us out but for the most part this is a family trip. WE really want at least one more big trip all together before DD15 is too old, unwilling or unavailable to go on more family vacations.The older DD is welcome to go on her own for a bit as well to find others and do stuff for herself if she wants. And I will check the teen page. I had forgotten about that.

[Nurse Kim]

My DS will be 16 on our next trip. We are renting searaycers for him. We allowed him to choose an activity he wants to do while we are there. On our first trip he didn't want to go either but loved it once we were there. He has twin sisters that are 13 and rides more than he does but he loves to roam and look at shops while we are riding.

[andreallybadeggs]

Hope I don't get flamed for this but, if she likes big coasters, you might also consider taking her to Universal for a day or two. My kids still prefer Disney but they all thought Universal was fun. And I teach lots of teens who visit Orlando and many of them tell me IOA is their fav park. It's just a teen thing...they usually come to their senses later.
Let her help you research all that the Orlando area offers (shopping, air boats, dinner shows, La Nouba etc...) then she could help you budget your $ and your time and feel like she was having some real input into the vacation. If the family goes along with a couple of her choices she might feel a little less grumpy about the situation. Now she's a share-holder!
Also-- even if she scowls when you say it--
it's really good that you are letting her know that you want her with you. You understand that family vacations are precious and fleeting and on some level she understands, too. And one day (maybe even one day in December) she'll say thanks. Whatever form your plans take, wishing you some great family memories.

[disneygeek84]

I agree that she should help in the planning. Especially if you plan on doing any TS, allow her to choose at least one place to eat.

And I'm not sure on the age limit for the Princess makeover, but maybe that's something that both of your DD could do together. On our trip a few weeks ago I saw several families with younger children who's hair was done, and then had older sisters with their hair done as well (and some moms even got their hair done). Or maybe there's some other things that she might like to do with her younger sister. At 3 I'm not sure how much she will remember when she's older, but doing something special with her older sister might be a memory that she'll hold onto (I had a best friend growing up whose mom had her brother when she was 16 and then went off to college when she was 18, so he didn't get to really know her very well. So when she can she does special trips with just the two of them like to the zoo and other things. That way he does have memories of her from when he was little).

Either way, even up until the trip she may not seem like she wants to be there...but once she is she'll have a blast and never want to leave

[KAT1811]

Or shall I just tell her too bad we are going to the happiest place on earth

Coming from an onlly child I traveled with my parents alone most of the time. Having a sibling, regardless of the age, would have been wonderful. I now have 3 (soon to be 4 children) ages 11 1/2, 3 1/2, & 1 1/2 and if the oldest did not want to come, oh well, tough luck you're going to Disney. We are a family and will stick together as a family like it or not. As I write this DD#1 is sitting next to me and swears she'll never not want to travel with us. Family is supremely important to us and non negotiable.

I think I'd ask her what would make this special for her, maybe a spa visit (Saratoga, GF) with you to celebrate the young lady she is becoming, or maybe horseback riding, the important thing is that she get's to pick something special for her.

Planning something special for her is something I would certainly do. Maybe taking her shopping one night at DTD or to La Nouba and to dinner (or ask her what she would like to do on her special night, maybe just stay in a park for EMH) while your youngest and DH do something themselves would make her feel special.

Good luck!