10 Funniest Things Heard at Disney

[comicguy]

One evening at studios, while waiting for the rest of our party to comeout of the bathroom, there was a couple of men having a conversation, I should also metion that both of these men were wearing Disney VIP passes, one man turns to the other and says, "I should just be kicked in the ba..s every month when the CC bill comes in, it would be easier than standing in all these lines"

It should be noted that the VIP badge gave him front of the line access, at least according badge that I saw hanging from his laynard.

I guess money and smarts are not always together!!!

[Niecyboo]

I love this thread, and have been racking my brains to think of a good story to share. Within the first couple of years of the POC refurb we were riding right behind a couple probably in their 70s. The wife was so excited about seeing Johnny Depp and as the boat pulled out she said something about how sexy she thinks he is. Her husband, in a very disapproving voice said "Ethel, watch what you say. This is a family park." She retorted. "Well, Johnny can be a part of MY family anytime." Maybe you had to have been there, but It was just so cute to see her so excited to see him.

[Ed]

On a bus leaving one of the parks at the end of a long day, the driver made an announcement suggesting everybody sing a Disney song, and then added "We'll be at our first stop in about ten minutes, unless somebody starts singing 'It's A Small World', in which case we'll get there in about three hours."

~~~~~~~~~~~

At the TTC lot, the CM on the PA system of the tram advised everyone "When leaving the tram, please watch your head. If you forget to watch your head, at least watch your language."

~~~~~~~~~~~

[AmandaChan]

This thread is so old, I can't remember if I put my quote on here or not.

As we were walking by the Beauty and the Beast stage show we hear a gruffy older man say to his kids 'do yall wanna go see the beauty and the wolf man?'

DH and I thought it was cute.

[Jillirose]

This isn't so much funny as it was completely random. We got on a tram and the family in the front of us was 3 grandchildren with their grandparents. The grandma turns to her granddaughter (Probably 7?) and goes, "Does your mom use P&G?" and the girl was clueless and shrugged, so grandma replies, "Grandpa doesn't. He doesn't believe in soap. I use Dove. I don't know if that's P&G though. But P&G brainwashes people so Grandpa and Grandma don't use it" and the girl replies, "It's brainwashing?" and the grandmother looks at her and says, "Yes, and I bet your mother uses it. If she does, she is brainwashing you guys. I bet she does."

I was like

Meanwhile, grandpa is sitting there with his arms folded over his chest and a grumpy face, and the two other children are using bubble guns to blow bubbles in our face (Hundreds of them, actually).

I can't stop laughing!!

[Sylvia]

Two funny stories -

1. Many years ago, befoe we started staying on property, we were at a hotel on International Drive. We were waiting for the hotel shuttle to WDW, and overheard a conversation between a man just checking in and the desk clerk. The guest said he was just staying for one day, and wanted directions to Disney World and Sea World, because he planned to go to both in the same day and figured it would only take 3-4 hours for each. We often wondered how long it took him to realize he had an impossible plan. To give cedit to the desk clerk, he never laughed - he gave the guest the information he wanted, but did mention that he might have enough time.

2. I'm one of those strange adults who actually includes Dumbo as a must-do on every trip. Many times I'm riding solo. A few years ago, once the attraction started, I heard a little girl, who was in the elephant behind me, ask her mother - "Mommy, why is that lady riding Dumbo by herself? Doesn't she know it's for children?" I still laugh every time I'm on Dumbo.

[brarnold]

On my mom's first trip to WDW (she was 58 at the time), we were on the safari ride at AK. Toward the end of the ride, she leaned over and whispered to me, in all seriousness, "How do you suppose the poachers got IN here?"

[mom2morgan]

We were watching Illuminations from the patio of the Rose and Crown - the wind was blowing just the wrong way, so we had ash raining down on us, and the finale seemed to go on an on - a couple of children started wailing in terror. Finally as it all ended, we heard a teenager beside us say "There's a fine line between a grand finale and an air raid!"

[AJ Springfield]

sorry if this is gross...

We were standing in a mass of people- side by side-- waiting for Honey, We Shrunk the Audience in 2008 when my 6 year old daughter started counting. When she got to 13, she paused and looked up at me. I said "13???". She said, "Yeah, I farted 13 times". I could've died from embarrassment. She was so proud of her accomplishment. I wanted to hide... but we were shoulder to shoulder with others. We couldn't even walk away.

[goofysbabe]

At Space Mountain: Disneyland, circa 1980-ish

CM: How many?
Us: 2
CM: 3
Us: 2
CM: 3
Us: Um...No...There are only 2 of us...?
CM: OK Will both of you please wait on number 3...? Please..?
Us: Oh. Sure. OK...

This is tooooooo funny!!! Best one so far!

[ronandjulie]

At Space Mountain the other day.

CM: "Party of 2? Any party of 2?"

Guest: "We have 4"

All of the other guests around them: "Giggles"

[Cinderelley]

We were watching Illuminations from the patio of the Rose and Crown - the wind was blowing just the wrong way, so we had ash raining down on us, and the finale seemed to go on an on - a couple of children started wailing in terror. Finally as it all ended, we heard a teenager beside us say "There's a fine line between a grand finale and an air raid!"

I had to tell my son in the Navy about this. We've had our share of times when we were standing in the left overs raining down grand finale.

[Auroring Good Time]

This was years ago and we were out enjoying an evening at Pleasure Island when one of guys we were with said he forgot to book a golf time for the next day. I called guest services to reserve. I said "I'd like to book a tee time". The cast member responded "would you like that with Cinderella?" After having had a few cocktails, it had to be the funniest thing I had ever hear. I finally managed to blurt out "golf" at which point she started laughing too.

[AmandaChan]

This was years ago and we were out enjoying an evening at Pleasure Island when one of guys we were with said he forgot to book a golf time for the next day. I called guest services to reserve. I said "I'd like to book a tee time". The cast member responded "would you like that with Cinderella?" After having had a few cocktails, it had to be the funniest thing I had ever hear. I finally managed to blurt out "golf" at which point she started laughing too.

haha, that is really cute. and i can see someone bowling over laughing after having a few.

[Quadstriker]

This was years ago and we were out enjoying an evening at Pleasure Island when one of guys we were with said he forgot to book a golf time for the next day. I called guest services to reserve. I said "I'd like to book a tee time". The cast member responded "would you like that with Cinderella?" After having had a few cocktails, it had to be the funniest thing I had ever hear. I finally managed to blurt out "golf" at which point she started laughing too.

That is incredible

[pamcdon1]

I too am a fan of "What time is the 3:00 parade?"

I like it so much my dh bought the t-shirt!

[Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da Disney]

I know this post is old but I had to comment when I was 7 years old we were at Epcot and Rafiki was there and I really wanted his autograph. So I got the autograph. And the next day we went to Animal Kingdom and Rafiki was right by Timon and I really wanted Timon's autograph but he was autographing my brothers book at the time. So Rafiki noticed that I was just standing there and he took my autograph book from me and started to sign and then I snatched it back and got upset and said " You signed it yesterday remember?" And Rafiki proceeded to hit his head with his staff. This is why I love disney Cast Members and this still makes me laugh when I think about. Also my family still hasnt let me live this on down .

[Main Street Jim]

"What time is the 3:00 parade"? Depends on where you sit (along the parade route)

Working on Main Street at the front of the park
(in all seriousness): "How do we get to the Matterhorn?" "Well, first you exit the park..."

Working the Main Street train station platform, we always got these gems:
"Is this the Monorail?"
"Will this take us to the park exit?" ("Well, you get on this train, take it around the park, get off at the third stop, and exit the park..." (think about it, people....think about it ).
"I *know* this train took me to Universal Studios last year!"
"Is that the Riverboat? (pointing, of course, to the ferry boat on Seven Seas Lagoon)"

Had the double-decker bus stopped up by the Castle once during a "Cinderellabration" stage show. This grandma and her grandson come walking up (early in the morning), and asked, "Where are all the rides?" I explained that were "rides" all over the Magic Kingdom. "Well, how do we get to the Magic Kingdom?"....*Sigh*....

While working at Downtown Disney, I always used to get the "How do we get to Disney World?" question. I'd pull out the "entire Disney property" map and explain that that was all of "Disney World". "Did you mean the Magic Kingdom?" "No, we want to go to Disney World, you know, where the Castle is."

"Does this train go to EPCOT?" Uhhhh...no.

Used to always get, "Does this thing go upside down?" "87 1/4 times." (Space Mountain)

One of the (well, not-so-) funny things I ever saw while working there: When riding the train past Space Mountain, there's a retention pond on the left, toward the Contemporary - it's a fenced-off area not accessible guests - or so we thought. My ex-girlfriend and I were engineers on the train, and as we came past that pond, there's a family down there having a picnic - and a gator in the pond! I had to stop the train, my ex got down and ran down there and hollered at these obviously-non-English-speaking people to get out of there. Apparently, they had opened and walked through a gate (!) by Carousel of Progress, walked across the train tracks, and just *sat down*! :/

[Ian]

I heard a gem when we were down last month.

We had just gotten off HM and I was waiting for DW to come back with our stroller. A woman walks up to the Cast Member working the line and says, "Excuse me, but where is the nearest hotel?"

The CM was clearly puzzled by this, but she regroup and said, "Well the closest hotels would be the Contemporary, the Polynesian, and the Grand Floridian. Why do you ask?"

The woman responded, "We've been here all day and we're tired. We wanted to get a room and get some rest. How do we get to the closest one?"

The CM proceeds to tell her to take the monorail and the woman interrupts and says, "We have to leave the park??"

I burst out laughing and the CM, to her credit, barely managed to hold it together. She thought there were hotels in the park!

[sportsguy2315]

Being a former CM, I have a couple stories:

• One day I was greeting guests as they were coming and going, and a father and two sons were leaving. One of the sons was wearing a Favre Vikings jersey, so I stopped him, told him I was from MN and we talked about the Vikes for a little bit. He then turns to his dad and asks: ¨Dad, why is it okay for Andy to be a Vikings fan?¨ Dad (Who along with son #2 were Giant fans) said: ¨Andy´s from Minnesota. He has an excuse.¨ I took it pretty well actually.
  
• I was bussing and there was a family eating in my section having lunch who stopped me and asked about Club Cool. I gave them the spiel about how you can try Coke around the world, and that Beverly came ¨highly recommended¨. Same family sits in my section for dinner, and I nonchalantly ask how Beverly was. The son looked a tad traumatized when he said ¨It was horrible! We told Mickey on you!¨ All was well though when I assured the family it was a prank we like to pull at Epcot.