Feeling guilty.

[disney obsessed]

My kids love Disney almost as much as I do. We have gone about 30 times. I have gone without them twice. Once for a conference and once just to go. My youngest used to refer to them as the times I forgot to take them to Disney World. They have been asking to visit the world for months and, as it turns out, we are planning a short trip to the world because a friend of ours is getting married on new years eve in St Petersburg. They are excited but still want to go before that.

Well, a friend of mine is going to Orlando the end of September and has asked me to join her for several days. I cannot say no to this and of course I am going. But my guilt is killing me. I haven't told them. I am afraid to! They are going to give me such a hard time.

So, any ideas of how to tell them and how to deal with their attitudes? By the way they are 15, 18, and 21.

Thanks!

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

If your teens are anything like mine they are masters at making you feel guilty But remind them that they are getting to go in a few months and that if the opportunity came up for them to go with one of their friends that you would be happy for them. They will be fine of course

[SBETigg]

Let yourself off the hook. They are getting to the ages where they will be going without you, too. You've taken them plenty of times. You deserve some time on your own. No guilt!

[DVC2004]

You should go and not feel guilty. You have the opportunity and they have been so many times. My teen and tween are good at the guilt trips, too. LOL. And mine have been so many times like yours. Don't sweat it. You could just tell them straight out and say I'm sorry I really want to take you but I can't this time,a nd please don't guilt you! LOL they are old enought to understand. They'll be OK.

[Tygger7]

Honestly, I'm kinda stuggling with a similar situation. Our DD18 (only child) is in college now and has gotten to go to WDW every year since 2006. We've let her go with friends, and even twice with her boyfriend's family. We planned a trip in May 2010 (as we always go in May) and she decided she didn't want to be away from her boyfriend (although she said she didn't want to miss school...yeah...right). She was pouty & just plain nasty about it from the moment we told her we weren't rescheduling or taking the boyfriend. Every time she got the chance, she would try & throw a guilt trip on us. It was miserable.

I've dreamed of going at Christmas time for many years now, and we've finally been able to work things out so DH & I can go this year. Our DD has exams the week we can get off work & want to go, and going after exams is not an option. Honestly, I haven't told her yet and I'm dreading it. I've tried to "soften the blow" by telling her that we're planning to take her and her boyfriend to WDW for 12-14 days in May 2013 (this is our 25th wedding anniversary trip)...we're paying for all her expenses and most of the boyfriend's expenses. Additionally, she plans to do the Disney College program, so she may already be in WDW for that trip. We've had such a stressful year and I just don't want any more drama from her. I wish she would at least "pretend" that she would be happy that we get to go, but I know better than to expect that. I'd welcome any suggestions on how to tell her....I know she's under a lot of stress too just starting college and I don't want to make things more difficult on her either. Ugh...just feels like a no-win situation...

[disney obsessed]

Thanks for all of the feedback! It helps. especially the line from mississippidisneyfreak. If they had the opportunity to go with a friend that i would be happy for them. I would. Thrilled even. They are old enough to appreciate that and I know they like to see me happy.

I think as a parent we have a hard time separating our experiences from our childrens. I have my life and they have theirs. Part of growing up, for them, is to realize that I am a person too. Part of growing up, for me, is to realize that it is ok to be my own person.

Thanks for the insight!

That may help you too tygger7.

[Tygger7]

Thank you so much....I'd never thought of it in that way disney obsessed. It's funny...no matter how prepared you think you are, you realize how UNprepared you really are. I actually think this part of raising kids is harder than the terrible two's....ah, for the good old days.

[brownie]

I'd have no problem or guilt about going without the kids. I might have feel bad if my bride couldn't join me, but it wouldn't stop me.

[Goofy4TheWorld]

So, any ideas of how to tell them and how to deal with their attitudes? By the way they are 15, 18, and 21.

At that age, I would sleep with one eye open just in case.

I actually think this part of raising kids is harder than the terrible two's....ah, for the good old days.

I took my DS2 to Disney during what turned out to be an unanticipated EXPLOSION of the terrible twos and can't believe I just read anyone calling that the good old days. If it's true then I am heading for the asylum in 10 years.

[buzznwoodysmom]

I took my DS2 to Disney during what turned out to be an unanticipated EXPLOSION of the terrible twos and can't believe I just read anyone calling that the good old days. If it's true then I am heading for the asylum in 10 years.

Hahaha, that's too funny. My kids are 11 and 9 and I often say how I long for the days they were 2 and 4 again! Like my MIL always told me....Little kids = little problems, big kids = big problems. Even though my kids are still young I can already see how wise my MIL is!!!!

[Tygger7]

At that age, I would sleep with one eye open just in case.

I took my DS2 to Disney during what turned out to be an unanticipated EXPLOSION of the terrible twos and can't believe I just read anyone calling that the good old days. If it's true then I am heading for the asylum in 10 years.

Trust me....my DD had her share of "terrible two's". But I kid you not, the melt downs are MUCH worse when they're 17-18. And when you add boyfriends/girlfriends to the mix....ugh...don't even want to go there. We've had more stress the past 3 years than all the previous years combined.

A huge thanks again to everyone for your words of encouragement. Parenting is a journey, not a destination...your role & duties change of the years and it's a challenge for us as well to find our way. In the end, we all want the same thing: for our kids to grow up and be happy & healthy. Unfortunately, they don't always see it that way.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

Just tell them that Moms & Dads need to get away and de-stress and since they cause part of your stress, you need to go away so that you can return refreshed and better able to deal with them.