Crazy neighbor

[meldan98]

I need some advice.

Sorry, it's long!

We have been dealin with my crazy neighbors antics now for over a year. When he purchased the house, the original owner had only lived the he house for about a year or so, yet, he had to practically gut the house before he moved in. He had his hardwood floors installed 3 times before he was finally happy.

I felt bad for the furniture delivery people who delivered his brand new furniture. He had them unload it all, uncover it and he inspected every piece. He found a couple of flaws in the wood grain, so they had to pack it all up and take it back. He carried his groceries in the paper bags side ways so none of the groceries are on top of each other. He also cleans his front porch with a tooth brush.

Within the last 6 months he has become obsessed with the parking spaces in front of his home. We live in homes where the garage is back of the home and we have ally access. We have a public street in front of our home that is open to anyone. If someone parks in front of his home, he sits in his car, bangs on his steering wheel and yells obscenities. He'll leave note on cars or stalk the people who park in front of his home. One time, my parents parked in front of his home and he pulled up as they were getting ready to leave. He didn't say anything, but his demeaner was hostile. He has gotten into a screaming match and threatened to fight one neighbor after one of their friends parked in front of the home. This was in front of small children. They have also caught him filming their kids through the fence. He claimed it was because he's afraid of a lawsuit.

This weekend, he and his girlfriend, installed video cameras on the front of their house. Those cameras are pointed at the sidewalk and street and from the angle their at, probably the homes acrossed the street. My children and the neighborhood children play on the sidewalk and walk to and from school in front of their home. According to our police department, it's legal. He also has cameras mounted on the sides of his home that point into the neighbors yards and cameras on the back of his home that see into the other back yards and into the alley. We live in a new and very crime free area. This is overkill and is incredibly disturbing to me. He is watching everything we do and one neighbor has also discovered that he is capturing audio too based on some things he said to her. He is sick and I am livid that he is capturing video of my children playing in their back yard and in the front of our home. How can this all be legal????

I told my husband tonight the my children will not be allowed to play out front and I will walk them around the block to prevent him from filming them. He seems to think I'm over reacting. Am I?

He thinks we're out to get him and he his threatening the most vocal neighbor with making her life a living nightmare if she continues to complain and make life difficult for him.

He's also a fire fighter, and is emotionally abusive to his girl friend.

I feel powerless, violated and sad that my kids can't play outside and have a normal childhood.

Vent over...

[btharvey]

This might be something the news media might be interested in. All the way from local TV to tabloids. Tabloids, in fact, might have a field day.

Interesting. If they got the full story, I'm sure it would sell some issues or some viewers.

If nothing else, you could write a screenplay and definitely sell it as fiction -- no one would believe it.

Also, thought there may not be any 'criminal' statutes being violated, there may be a pattern that could be put together for civil actions regarding harassment and privacy issues. Worth talking to a lawywer since he's recording things and using them against folks.

[Jeniflower]

Ok, it sounds like your neighbour has OCD and potentially a mental health problem. What you, and your other neighbours need to do, is keep a record of every issue that happens, so that if it goes to court (either civil or criminal) you have corroborated evidence. try not to provoke him obviously but do keep records.

whilst filming outside his home may be legal, it is unlikley that filming others homes or gardens without consent isn't, and filming children should really be of concern to the police. i would seek legal advice as soon as possible and do what ever is legally sound to protect your family.

[ImagiAsh]

Wow. Are their names Lori and Bill? That story was my exact childhood, verbatim. Bill had cameras mounted everywhere on his house. As if that wasn't enough, he would stand at his windows staring into our house and comment on what he saw when he ran into us outside. Each morning Bill and Lori would get in their car, back down their driveway (20ft), get the mail in their mailbox and pull back into their house. I had never seen anything like it. I was 12 at the time. My parents and all of the neighbors were extremely concerned. They would purposely turn on their sprinklers if we crossed the sidewalk in front of their house, curse at us from their windows, and even threatened to "kill those annoying children" (at which point several parents ran over to confront them and protect us). Before we could call the cops on them, they would call the cops on any one of their neighbors if they got the chance. It got so bad that the police department claimed they were getting harassed by Lori and Bill with the number of emergency calls that turned out to be irrelevant.

I am sorry you are going through this. It is scary to know that somebody is watching your every
move and not getting in trouble for it. My story ends with the fact that they eventually moved out and peace was restored to the neighborhood.

[minnie04]

I know this is a hard situation to live in , BUT i would turn the tables on him and his girlfriend. Get all the neighbors together when he is at work and come up with a plan to turn it on him, so everyone is on the same page. Everytime they come out in plain view I would record them and make them feel like they are doing something wrong. Take out a paper and pen and write (scrabble), but make them feel like you are writting something about them. And if need be do write something if they speak to you. Always stay on your property when doing this. Also if they want to film the kids I would have the kids screaming and playing very loud toys everywhere. Make noise in your own yard have blasting music, Kids playing all over, I would also have cameras put up facing his house as well (weither they wrok or not) you could have an undercover cop park in front of his house so they (cops) can witness what he does when he comes out. I would turn the tables on them so much it would blow their minds!!!

Also, if he is a firefighter call the department and report this behavor, they might be able to do something about it.Put pressure on them to look in to this. He cant only be acting one way at home and another at work. I bet he is the guy on the department that no one talks too. He probably complains on everything.

I know this probably isnt the way to handle it, but I would mess right back with him. let him know how it feels.


Or just plant big trees to block him from seeing your house and just deal with the day to day encounters.

My friend had someone like this on her block. they just avoided him at all cost. you couldnt even walk on the side walk in front of his house. all the kids were scared of him. he is still there and so are they. they just learned to deal with him. they have had yelling matches, police come out, but until he touches or does something to someone he can continue to act that way.

Good luck !!!

[SBETigg]

This is horrendous. I am so sorry. I would definitely document everything. I would be tempted to put cameras on him and park in front of his house. And then if he made me feel threatened, I would call the cops. And if it kept up, I would get a restraining order. Would that make him move? I could hope. Realistically, I doubt I would do any of that. I'm a tolerant person, and I would probably try to get used to him. But I like to think of the possibilities.

[btharvey]

Please be careful when recommending '*** for tat' ... this is very much like 'retribution,' and he's the one that is doing the misdeeds, not anyone else. It doesn't help to do the same thing to others that they do to you.

Broadcasting what's happening, spreading the word, seeking legal assistance -- especially with regard to child safety, privacy and other issues -- these are things that can be done. Doing the same thing to someone that they're doing to you is almost never the right answer ... in the first place, they won't recognize the problem (they don't now, so they won't later).

Calling the fire department and asking them if they condone this behavior of one of their own would be an interesting direction to go ("spreading the word").

But he's not ever going to know how it feels, because he's doing it in the first place. Don't threaten him directly -- he may be directly dangerous. Even the legal action may cause things to happen, so be careful what is done. by all means, though seek an attorney (maybe more than one).

[SBETigg]

But he's not ever going to know how it feels, because he's doing it in the first place. Don't threaten him directly -- he may be directly dangerous. Even the legal action may cause things to happen, so be careful what is done. by all means, though seek an attorney (maybe more than one).

Sound advice. It does seem that there ought to be some legal means to keep someone from filming your children. Filming his own property might be perfectly legal, but turning cameras on neighbors, and children especially, seems so wrong.

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

First of all, I would avoid being too confrontational with this neighbor. Unfortunately, we have more and more unstable people like this go out and hurt people so I wouldn't purposely antagonize him. I don't know about the cameras. To me, this sounds like an invasion of privacy. Yes, he can have cameras filming his property and common street areas, but pointed into your yard and filming your children? Also, isn't there some law that says to tape someone (audio) at least one party of the conversation has to give permission? I think I might contact legal counsel if I were you. Terrible situation

[princessgirls]

I agree with the previous poster. I would avoid being too confrontational with this neighbor. He has some serious issues as it is. NO...what he is doing is NOT right, by any means, but that doesn't mean you want to engage him in a war. You need to get along so to speak. He can't do anything if your children walk home on his sidewalk or riding their bikes.
I do not envy you this problem.
Our friends bought a home in a very nice neighborhood, only to have the neighbor from the dark side. He is a building inspector in town, and KNOWS exactly what he can get away with. If our friends have people over after 10pm, the cops are there. This is not a loud rowdy party crowd either. In the summer, hanging out after a softball game kind of thing. It has gotten ugly over the years, with lawyers, and money spent. The neighbor is basically a bully. A judge finally put him in his place last summer, and all has been quite since.
I don't want to see that happen to you with spending money, and having to go to court.
Julie

[minnie04]

I know I was harsh, but I just hate to think people have to run and hide when their is a BULLY on the block!!!

The problem with this is NOTHING will be done to this guy until he hurts someone. And then everyone will come out with "he did this and he did that'" make sure its documented whatever he does no matter how big or small... call the police EVERYTIME he does something. make a report. Then trust me he will "know'" that he is being watched and its not going to fly anymore. He has been getting away with it, by everyone running and hiding to avoid him. He has put the whole block in fear and its time to take it back...

Again I would start with his JOB !! He is a public servant and his file is open to the public. If he has any complaints or problems it will be in there. Then seek legal or police help.

He sounds like a major JERK and BULLY and has never been put in his place. along with OCD... has anyone tried to talk to the girlfriend when he is at work? maybe she can shed some light on this. at least he should be at work for 24 hours that would give you time to talk to her and see . MAYBE she needs your help too..

[Dulcee]

Got to agree with above. Behavior like this is usually a sign of some kind of psychological problem, and severe or not, provoking it isn't going to help anyone.

I would keep in touch with your police department. Ask for someone who works that beat to make routine patrols through the neighborhood, specifically around his property. Its hard for the police to do something if they can't document it happening. Also, many police departments have to make routine community contacts, essentially just talking to people in the neighborhood that they work in to find out how they feel about safety/security etc. If your department is aware that this individual is making your block uncomfortable it can be used to approach him and at least keep an eye on the situation.

You could also try getting in contact with someone at your local social services. Describing the behavior, it does suggest some kind of psych disorder and they maybe able to give you suggestions on how to approach the situation as well as come out and talk to him.

[bleukarma]

First, this guy has a girlfriend and it's been months since I've been on a date with a decent guy?! What?!

Second, I'm pretty sure it is illegal to film people without their consent. Especially children. Having "security" camera's in front of your house is one thing, but filming other people's backyards is a different story.

Also, he does not own the sidewalk, even if it is in front of his house.

I know what it's like to have crazy neighbors. Mine yell all the time. I'm not even sure what they are yelling at. The wall??! I think the guy is crazy so I don't want to confront him. But it's EXTREMELY annoying! Especially since I work from home. I will be in the middle of my workload and all of a sudden obscenities and screams are flowing through the walls. It's more frustrating because I own my home and they are just renters. I have contacted the owner and they must pay their rent because he basically told me that's not his problem. We don't have a noise ordinance where we live so I feel there is nothing I can do but complain about it. It's a very bad feeling to have. So I feel you're pain.

I wouldn't try provoking him, but I would think about contacting the fire chief. Maybe his boss can explain to him that he can't act the way he does.

[BrerGnat]

I agree that you need to be very careful with this guy. He clearly has some sort of mental instability, probably OCD along with some paranoia.

First of all, do you KNOW that the cameras are functioning? They might be just for show.

At this point, go on with your lives. Let your kids play outside, but supervise them (either directly, or through your windows...just so you know what is going on). Make yourself visible to the neighbor so he knows that YOU are watching what HE is doing too, but you can't take your children's freedoms away just because some nut lives next door.

So what if he is filming them playing? Big deal. Don't get too worked up about that. In his own mind, he is probably doing it so he can feel like he has "proof" if anything is damaged on his property, then he can blame it on someone else. Just instruct your kids to NOT ever step foot on his property (although, the sidewalk and street are public).

For the most part, I'd just ignore him. Don't talk to him, don't make eye contact. If he leaves a note on your car, just put it back on his car, or throw it out, ignoring it. Don't feed into this guy's game. Ignoring this sort of behavior is the best way to make it go away. People like that thrive on the attention that they get from others when they do stuff like this, even if it's negative attention. Let it go, ignore, ignore, ignore. It will drive him crazy at first, but eventually, he will see that you aren't being phased by it, and it will become less interesting to him. Trust me on this, it's a very basic behavior modification strategy that works wonders.

[TheDuckRocks]

Please, please be careful with this guy. Read your post yesterday morning and thought about you ever since. This past week we just had some very good friends, who have a crazy neighbor next door, who had him act out in an extreme manner. Their 2 high school age sons came home from school to find firemen, police and an ambulance in front of their home. To make a long story short, while the whole family was gone the nutcase set fire to their backyard. No one was hurt and no property damage other than a burnt lawn and scrubs. And the worst part is that the police can't do anything because no one actually saw him set the fire. He was seen, by a neighbor, in their backyard 15 minutes prior to noticing smoke but by that time he was back inside his house and according to his lawyer (who was at his house when the police went to his door) and he........"She's lying, she didn't see me light the match".

[meldan98]

They you very much for your thoughts. As much as I would like to walk up to this weirdo and confront him him being a sick individual, I won't. I was talking with one of his direct neighbors and found out that one of the cameras is right next to her daughters' window. She has a call into the police. So far six of of us have called the hoa and the woman at the hoa agrees that this man has issues and needs to be stopped. Our best bet is to have the police intervene. My dds won't be playing out front until this resolved. I refuse to aka this man to record my children.

We have found that they are working. When one neighbor went another neighbors house, to discuss it, she walked pat his house and he was sitting out front and told her things that he could have only heard through the camera recording. He also told her that if she keeps making trouble, he's goin to get her.

I'm hoping he gets stopped soon. I just can't take the stress of feeling like a prisoner in my own home. As much as I'd like to go on lookin the other way, I know deep down, this guy is pure evil and I need to do what I can to keep my family safe.

I'll keep you posted on the ongoing developments.

[Wolf]

They you very much for your thoughts. As much as I would like to walk up to this weirdo and confront him him being a sick individual, I won't. I was talking with one of his direct neighbors and found out that one of the cameras is right next to her daughters' window. She has a call into the police. So far six of of us have called the hoa and the woman at the hoa agrees that this man has issues and needs to be stopped. Our best bet is to have the police intervene. My dds won't be playing out front until this resolved. I refuse to aka this man to record my children.

We have found that they are working. When one neighbor went another neighbors house, to discuss it, she walked pat his house and he was sitting out front and told her things that he could have only heard through the camera recording. He also told her that if she keeps making trouble, he's goin to get her.

I'm hoping he gets stopped soon. I just can't take the stress of feeling like a prisoner in my own home. As much as I'd like to go on lookin the other way, I know deep down, this guy is pure evil and I need to do what I can to keep my family safe.

I'll keep you posted on the ongoing developments.

This guy is creeping me out and I've never encountered anything like this. I had a idea for those of yall that he has cameras pointing at their windows (Espically the kid's windows) take posterboard and write "Go away creeper" or "Stop looking at me" "You're sick" and cover the windows he is watching them through. I know its drastic but him getting to see the kids is (Hopefully not but lets be realistic) probably exactly what he wants so stopping that part of his lurking will cut him, or to be a different thought would be to be super positive "Have a nice day " or "God loves you" on the posters, my Moma always said if people are being jerks on purpose to "Kill them with kindness" and its the meanest thing you can do. I know it would be awful to deprive yalls kids of sunlight but maybe this would give him the point that yall know what he's up to and are working together to fix it and show him he's outnumbered in his creepyness.

Good luck either way, I'm thinking about yall..

[Mickey'sGirl]

He's going to get her is issuing a threat and is an offense. I would not hesitate to involve the authorities, but I would not approach/acknowledge/interact with this guy.

[Cinderelley]

He also told her that if she keeps making trouble, he's goin to get her.

This is your legal recourse right here, but the cops probably won't help you. The only time a person's legal rights can be taken away is if they are deemed to be a danger to themselves or others. You would need to file a 'petition" to have him evaluated as a danger to others. It is a legal proceeding. Find out if there is a behavioral urgent care in your area, and they should be able to tell you how to file the petition. You will need to be able to tell them exactly what he is saying and the more "proof" the better. . . perhaps photos of his cameras aiming into other people's yards, your neighbor writing down verbatim what he is saying to him/her at different times, other neighbors who may have heard him say it, etc.
Once the petition is filed, a judge reviews it and if he agrees, the cops will pick up your neighbor and take him down for an involuntary psychiatric evaluation.

[meldan98]

Just thought I would provide an update. The neighbors that have heard back from the police say that it is within his rights to video record anything that goes on around his home for security purposes. I'm frustrated beyond belief.

I've looked around his home more and discovered something even more disturbing, he has only place cameras in areas in which children live or play. He only place cameras on the front of his home, the back of his home and then between the his house and a neighbor that has children. I can actually see one of the cameras from my daughters room. I don't know if he has the ability to remotely move the cameras around, but my daughter has now been instructed to keep her windows closed.

I've just sent an email to the officer that oversees the icky creepy department (name of department withheld to protect the little ones) and hopefully I will at least hear back from him. So far I haven't heard back from the police. Keeping my fingers crossed. I don't think anyone from the police department has even come by yet to see his home or talk with him.

At this point I don't care about his psycho parking place issue or his need to vaccum leaves off his rocks in his back yard for 4 hours a day 2-3 times a week with his leaf blower. I just want him to remove the stupid cameras.