Friends "cheating" the system and "joining" us for vacation

[rjmdds]

Friends of ours have decided to book a trip to WDW for the same period that we are there in the summer. At first they were staying off site for only a few days and it was only going to be the father and daughter. We were going to meet up with them here and there. Now they have decided to make it a trip for 5 days and have moved to OUR hotel. If it was up to them they would be with us 24 hours a day during the trip. And believe me, we are not that interesting. We were looking forward to this being a vacation with just the four of us, but I am concerned about them hijacking our trip. We have a couple of things going for us.. one, is that all of our ADRs and Fps are booked and are no longer available to "tag" on to. But they will find a way. Second, we will staying 4 more days after they leave. Although knowing them, they will try to add days once they are there. We are friends with them, however this is our family vacation. Am I being selfish and unfriendly?

Next, they have two children . One is 12 and the other is 15. They book them both as children which really irks me. They do this to pay less for them and it drives me nuts. We are honest people and would never dream of doing it. Even if I did, I feel like I would get caught, but they won't. How do people get away with this?

[gerald72]

That's what you get for telling them your exact plans! They'll do this as long as you let them!
How about Disney "magically" upgraded you to a different resort?
How about "somehow" disney found out their kids weren't kids?
If they don't have park hoppers- make sure you do, and change plans an hour into the day.

[BrerGnat]

Change your trip dates, if possible. If not, switch hotels. That sounds quite annoying.

[akaDisneyDreamer]

I don't think you are being selfish at all. A lot of effort and money go into planning your perfect Disney vacation for your family!

We've been able to avoid this scenario so far, but at the expense of hiding our excitement on facebook! Seriously any time we mention anything about Disney, they suggest we should meet up at WDW (we have friends and relatives who live in FL within an hour or two of WDW). 4years ago they got upset with us because we didn't tell them we were going, until we got back. This last trip, we didn't say a thing, and still haven't posted pictures a month after we got back. I feel gypped because I want to share!

So, I think you will just have to be firm about sticking to your plans, because this is YOUR family vacation. If they want to get together, it should be in a way that won't compromise your plans.

[SBETigg]

We're very selfish with our Disney time. The thing that we love most about our Disney vacations is that we're in our magic zone away from current events, friends, and extended family. Our Disney honeymoon was a great escape from our daily realities and we try to keep that up when we revisit. Though I have taken some solo trips with friends and without my husband, my husband would never dream of doing the same. So I completely understand your desire to carve out some private family time and avoid "hijackers."

As you say, you do have a few things going for you, and maybe you can successfully avoid spending too much time with people you would rather avoid. WDW is a big place. Maybe change hotels and claim it was a last minute switch, not your fault, or change dates. Barring that, just try to make the most of it and be bold enough to speak up and carve out your own time if needed. It's not always easy. Wishing you luck.

[1DisneyNut]

We had a similar thing happen once with family. The annoying family too of course. I just switched resorts once they brought it up they had scheduled the same week as us and it was obvious they were going to try to tag along. We never mentioned we had changed resorts until we were actually at WDW after they had followed us on the 10 hour drive. The look on their face was priceless when I broke the news. lol I also did everything in my power to try to be sure they wouldn't switch resorts to follow us......I booked an extremely expensive villa and didn't let them know until we were there......problem solved.

It doesn't bother me to much to do such things. I almost just told them to have fun but they aren't tagging along but didn't want to deal with them trying it anyway so I just switched the resorts and kept it quiet.

If it were me, I would do something similar or just flat tell them that you will meet up with them a couple of times but for the most part it is your "family vacation." They may get mad or whatever but they can get over it.

As for them cheating the system, it isn't the right thing to do but with all the ridiculous price increases and diminishing services at WDW, it is probably common place these days and I just turn a blind eye to it now. I always thought children 10 years old being classified as adults is absurd anyway. The child category should cover all children up to 18 in my opinion.

[buzznwoodysmom]

How the heck do they plan to pass 12 and 15 year old kids as 9 or under? I know Disney probably won't even ask, but still....

My kids are around those ages, 12 and 14, and I can't even imagine tying to pull something like that. My 12 year old probably looks about 9, he is short for his age, weighs only around 65 pounds, and just looks like a little boy, but I would never consider passing him for a kid in Disney for a minute. It's just not worth any amount of savings. I hope Disney questions them about the ages, but then again from the sound of it, they probably wouldn't even care.

[buzznwoodysmom]

As for them cheating the system, it isn't the right thing to do but with all the ridiculous price increases and diminishing services at WDW, it is probably common place these days and I just turn a blind eye to it now. I always thought children 10 years old being classified as adults is absurd anyway. The child category should cover all children up to 18 in my opinion.

I get what you are saying, but I personally don't see a problem with the "Disney adult" age. I thought it was absurd years ago, before my kids turned 10. Couldn't imagine my little ones eating enough to pay for them as adults. However, once they were 10 I realized "why shouldn't I be paying full price for them?". By 10 just about any kid will be tall enough for all attractions, so why offer a discounted ticket? Also by age 10 most kids can eat as much as an adult so why discount their food? Now obviously not all kids are the same, but knowing my own kids, and countless friends, nieces, and nephews, I really believe that Disney's age limit is fair enough. My youngest still doesn't eat like an adult at 12 years old (sometimes he does but not often), but he definitely seems to be one of the few kids his age I know to eat so little.

[1DisneyNut]

I get what you are saying, but I personally don't see a problem with the "Disney adult" age. I thought it was absurd years ago, before my kids turned 10. Couldn't imagine my little ones eating enough to pay for them as adults. However, once they were 10 I realized "why shouldn't I be paying full price for them?". By 10 just about any kid will be tall enough for all attractions, so why offer a discounted ticket? Also by age 10 most kids can eat as much as an adult so why discount their food? Now obviously not all kids are the same, but knowing my own kids, and countless friends, nieces, and nephews, I really believe that Disney's age limit is fair enough. My youngest still doesn't eat like an adult at 12 years old (sometimes he does but not often), but he definitely seems to be one of the few kids his age I know to eat so little.

I was really referring to the ticketing pricing for the child/adult classification. As for the dining, it sort of takes care of itself. They allow adults to order from the child menu if they want smaller portions at most of the WDW restaurants. You get the meal portions for which you paid so the age is really irrelevant unless it is a buffet.

To be clear, I completely agree that buying child tickets for older children is wrong but realistically they don't enforce it that I am aware of and I am sure many, many people do it and if questioned they just use the "I didn't realize, to me they are children." Which is really sort of hard for a CM to argue with even though it is policy. It isn't very much of a price difference though so to me it doesn't look like the possibility of embarrassment and wasted time upgrading tickets would be worth it but there are always those that will do it anyway.

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

I think it is time for a conversation. If they are good friends, who you want to continue being friends with I'd have it go something like this: "We're so glad that we're going to be able to see you a couple of times at Disney. Let's think about a couple of things we can do together". Hopefully, as you set some plans, they will realize that they aren't going to be with you 24/7. If need be, it will let you know that you need to change hotels, but it might work out, since you could make some swimming time your "together time".

If they aren't such good friends, I'd cut them off right now, letting them know you have tons of plans and just don't think you'll have time to fit them in.

As for the kids being passed off as little kids, I wouldn't let it bother you. It is wrong, but you can't change it or control it.

I hope you have a wonderful time, just with the people you WANT to spend time with.

[Arielfan98]

That's what you get for telling them your exact plans! They'll do this as long as you let them!
How about Disney "magically" upgraded you to a different resort?
How about "somehow" disney found out their kids weren't kids?
If they don't have park hoppers- make sure you do, and change plans an hour into the day.

I agree with this plan. I don't know if your friends are Disney experts like you, but if they aren't use it to your advantage. You know EMH, all the shortcuts and ways to avoid them. Tell them you've changed plans when you really haven't and hope that distracts them. Like another poster said, if they are close friends do have a pep talk with them and politely ask them to respect your boundaries. If they're not close, I wouldn't bother worrying what they think. Tell them you'd be glad to spend a day with them but that's it. And if I haven't made it clear you are not being selfish. Disney vacations are expensive but full of lifetime memories that should be reserved to your liking.

[disneykidsince1970]

I agree with earlier post.... time for a chat.

Maybe an after dinner call...

"Hi Betty... listen, this is a hard call to make and I hope that you'll be able to understand.

While we are just thrilled at the idea of sharing one or two experiences with your family (insert excited enthusiasm here) at Disney, our family really needs the majority of this trip to be "just us."

In looking at our agenda, it would be great to plan X and Y as dual-family activities! What fun it will be!!

But, we do hope you won't be offended if we don't make plans beyond that."

GOOD LUCK!!

[rjmdds]

Thanks for all of your really thoughtful and productive advice. This is why I love this place. Anyway, for an update, we had dinner with them last night and on several occasions we mentioned that I have been planning this vacation for over a year and I really can't change any plans. We mentioned that we would meet up with them on two afternoon/evenings. Otherwise our parks will be different. We said we would see them here or there but won't be doing all of our meal together because mine were booked at 180 days and the availability is no longer there. They already mentioned extending their trip which I knew was inevitable. Unfortunately they are Disney pros and know as many ins and outs as I do. They were even able to book their FP+'s for those 2 days at the exact same time as ours. One of the drawbacks of being friends on the MDE app. We can see all of each other's plans.

We are going to hold tight on our plans and make the best of it. Hopefully they get the message that we are not as anxious to hang with them as they are with us.

[SBETigg]

We are going to hold tight on our plans and make the best of it. Hopefully they get the message that we are not as anxious to hang with them as they are with us.

At least it sounds like they are good enough friends that it won't be a terrible time if you have doses of them here and there, and I'm guessing that you might be overthinking a little (hoping so, for your sake). They're probably just as eager to have some time on their own, or at least it might not be possible for them to be with you at every waking moment. I'm going to think positive for you.

[minnie04]

If you really feel like they are going to be a problem. I would just start telling them every chance you have that this is "you’re family vacation” and “We have things special planned for us I’m not sure if we will be able to hang out too much, but if we can will try to meet up with you guys, but I can’t promise anything “I wouldn't try to change my reservation or try to dodge them at every corner that is going to stress you guys out trying to avoid them the whole trip. Just be honest and up front let them know this is a vacation you plan to spend with you’re family.
Do you have children the same ages? That might be the only problem. Because kids like to ride with their friends and hang out. If that is the case then maybe plan one day to make the effort to meet up with them hang out and then that’s it you have done your good deed.

[rjmdds]

If you really feel like they are going to be a problem. I would just start telling them every chance you have that this is "you’re family vacation” and “We have things special planned for us I’m not sure if we will be able to hang out too much, but if we can will try to meet up with you guys, but I can’t promise anything “I wouldn't try to change my reservation or try to dodge them at every corner that is going to stress you guys out trying to avoid them the whole trip. Just be honest and up front let them know this is a vacation you plan to spend with you’re family.
Do you have children the same ages? That might be the only problem. Because kids like to ride with their friends and hang out. If that is the case then maybe plan one day to make the effort to meet up with them hang out and then that’s it you have done your good deed.

We do have kids the same age and that is definitely an issue. Last night the wife stated to her husband," well, if we are not going to be with them and eat our meals with them then why are we going?" Obviously, spending time with their own family is not appealing. Too bad for them. We can tolerate them in small doses but not 24/7. And if the plans included them from the start it would be different. They've already asked me to change one meal on their behalf and I said no. When talking about our trip I keep emphasizing "our" plans or stressing "you" when talking about "their" plans. "What are YOU guys doing that day?" Or "Did you make YOUR ADRs yet? " Some people can't take a hint though.

[minnie04]

Last night the wife stated to her husband," well, if we are not going to be with them and eat our meals with them then why are we going?"

That’s good, with that you can just keep telling them. "Hey sorry, But we weren’t to make plans with anyone this time”. “We just wanted to make this a family trip with our kids" “maybe another time we can do this all together, but this one we wanted to be just us" quick to the point and done!!! Keep mentioning that you won’t have any time to hang out. And maybe they will cancel or have to make their own plans... not your problem

[TheVBs]

I can't offer better advice than the above, but I just wanted to say that I hope it all works out and you have a wonderful time! People inviting themselves on other people's vacations just makes me cringe.

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

I think an honest conversation would go a long way here. Look we're happy you guys are taking a family vacation the same time we are and lets plan to do a couple of things together but to be honest our family needs this vacation to be family only time so we can focus attention on each other. At home our kids are always busy with their friends and we are always doing things with work and friends so this is our alone time...further explain you already have booked you ADR's and FP + times anyway so it really isn't realistic to spend all your time together.

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

I would just be honest with them.