kids on leash ???

[merrymouse]

This is probably a heated question but I have a dilemma. Having once lost my child for less than a minute that seemed like an hour at storyland in NH I never, ever want to relive this nightmare again. I literally was emotionally wasted for the rest of our trip after that. I consider myself a very watchful and cautious parent, never letting my kids out of sight in crowd situations and low and behold it happened to me. So with this fear I am going to WDW with dd 7, ds 5, and dd 18months and my dh. My 18month old likes to get out of her stroller now and again (who can blame her) and she absolutely refuses to hold my hand. She's obviously to young to reason with and she doesn't understand that she could get lost so my mom suggested getting one of those little harness things so she could be free to walk but we would still have a hold on her. After my experience in storyland (which was my son that got lost and he was exactly 18 months old at the time) Im definitely considering it. My dh says its cruel but I think its better then loosing sight of them even for a second. What do you think? Have you seen this at the park?
15 days to go [img]graemlins/clappy.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/clappy.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/clappy.gif[/img]

[Gotta Love the TTA]

First off, you are far braver than I am to take an 18 month old to WDW.

For me, that age was the absolute WORST (my oldest is 16 now, and I must say that he is a total delight). I used to say they were "all motor skills and no brains."

Get the harness. It will make you feel more secure, your daughter won't know the difference, and anyone who has any comments about it can mind his own business.

I mean really, there are LOTS of parents who do things to/for their children that I don't approve of. (I don't like 10 year old girls with bare midriffs, or boys with "rat tails", or those bratty kids who INSIST on swinging toy swords in crowds.) But I am not their parent, and I don't get to make those decisions.

Like I said, I would never have dreamed of taking my kids at that age for all the reasons you described.

Do what feels right to you. You are The Mommie, and this is a decision you get to make.

[faline]

I used to be dead-set against these type of restraints but, over time, I have come to realize the value of allowing your little ones some freedom while still being sure they can't wander away.

I'd say go with whatever makes you comfortable and allows you to enjoy your time at the parks. I have seen these in use at Disney World.

[xipetotec]

That is a heated issue and a lot of the people who are dead set against it are not parents. I'm Not saying everyone, but many. Fact is that in a huge crowd, you're not wrong to want to keep your kids close. I would try to find something that's fairly long though so you can let them wander a bit, but you can still keep yourself "connected to them".

In honour of this thread, the story of my aunt and her kids when we were there last. My aunt is the opposite of you or I. She never watches her kids. As a result, and I hate to say this about any child, her kids are total demons. Never told what's right or wrong, never have any discipline enforced. It's kind of sad really. But I digress... She went to Typhoon Lagoon with these two... And they TOTALLY took off!!! She didn't even notice until 30 minutes had gone by, *THEN* she panics and gets a lifeguard... They searched the place for 45 minutes before they found them casually playing VERY VERY far away from mom in one of the pools... ( I should mention these kids were 4 and 8 respectively ).

I can understand the argument to let the kids roam a bit, allow them to spread their wings somewhat, but I think too many people have overinterpreted that and let their kids raise themselves.
*steps off soapbox*

[singermom4]

I can't quite understand what is 'cruel' about using a harness. In fact, you are allowing your child more mobility than in a stroller. If your dd won't hold your hand than you have no choice but to use a harness as we all know that it takes only a split second for a child to take off. She may actually sit in the stroller longer than you think because of all the things to see and you can bring some toys to keep her a bit occupied so time out of the stroller is minimized. At regular intervals, you can stop in a 'protected area' to let her run around for a while - the biggest challenge will be waiting in the lines and you'll probably need the harness here. Just be careful that she doesn't get tangled or trip someone else. I did use a harness one time for my son when I knew we would be walking along an unbarricaded waterway but it really isn't all that convenient so I hardly used it afterwards. One other thought - is she light enough for a backpack carrier (or are you or your dh strong enough to carry her?)? They often prefer being high up and it would give you a lot more mobility than with a stroller. You will probably get a few nasty looks with the harness but those people haven't lost a child before. If you do lose track of her, I believe that security is in abundance and you just need to yell for them and they will swarm the area looking for your child.

[Barb_A]

For your peace of mind and for your child's safety .. use the harness!

I only saw one couple that had two children using the harness when we were down there ... so it wasn't widely used. But those children looked at peace with it .. in face one of them even picking up the cord and holding it at times.

I had one and tried to use it with my one child on a vacation ... but we had never used it before. As a result he kicked and screamed the entire time. We didn't use it and he was very good walking holding our hand or using the stroller instead. So, maybe buy it ahead of time and use it at the mall .. the local zoo, etc. Maybe start off with her in the stroller, and when she screams to get out, then put her in the harness and let her have freedom that way?

Good luck!

[mickeynuts]

I see nothing cruel about a harness. It's a device designed to help keep your child safe and close to you, nothing more. No more cruel than a seat belt in a stroller, they serve the same purpose. People get bent out of shape because they look like dog leashes. You know you wouldn't do anything that would be harmful to your child and that you are doing your very best to keep them safe, so if you get dirty looks, just let them roll off your back.
Our children have never fought riding in the stroller, but we have used harnesses a few times to give them some freedom. We had two situations at WDW where they were especially helpful.
1. In line: Little ones can run off so fast and can zoom right under the ropes or bars and out of the queue much faster than an adult can jump over the ropes trying to catch them. Having the harness kept the baby with us without having to be held the whole time. We usually just held them, but kept the harness handy for when they wanted to get down.
2. Parades: Our kids always wanted to be out of the stroller so they could jump and dance while the parade went by, but they also wanted to run out into the street and greet the floats. We sat on the curb and used the harness so they could dance to their heart's content next to us without being held but when they felt the need to join the parade we had a secure hold on them and could "reel them back in" before they got into danger.

I have to share a story which I guess some won't find funny, but here goes! On one trip our two oldest were 3 and 1 and we had harnesses for both of them. Never ended up using it for the 3 year old but had it along just in case. We got the idea to put the harnesses on them and tie the ends to one of the hitching posts and take their picture just for a joke. (they were there less than 10 seconds and both of them thought it was hysterical) When we showed my family the picture we told my brother-in-law that they had the hitching posts outside the big rides so the parents could leave the kids and ride together and he actually believed us and thought it was a cool idea (He's not so bright).
Anyway, do what you feel the most comfortable with, it's your family! Another option is a child proximity alarm, the parent wears one wristband and the child wears another. If the child gets too far away the parent's band sounds an alarm. You can also push a button on the adult's band that sets off a beeper on the child's so you can find them more quickly. Not quite as good as having a physical hold on them though, it's still not easy to catch a toddler who is determined to get away.
[img]smile.gif[/img] Laura

[valjane]

I don't see anything wrong with using a harness, but I couldn't help but notice your comments that your daughter refuses to hold your hand and is too young to be reasoned with.

As her parent, can't you just MAKE her hold your hand?

[Chickie]

I don't see a thing wrong with the harness. We had my 3 year old with us last Feb, and she doesn't like to hold hands, either. I bought one of those things that are more like a leash. It just velcroes around her wrist, and I hold the other end. It's stretchy, too, so she can move around a little. I only found a couple of times that I needed to use it, but we had 10 other family members with us to help. You might try to find one of these devices at Babies R Us, that's where I bought mine. Whatever you decide to do, don't let others make you feel that it is cruel. I remember seeing many children that SHOULD have been on a leash at the parks.
Just have fun!!!

[Janmac]

Here's another vote for the leash. We used one with our grandson when he was 18 months - but at the Missouri State Fair. When he went to WDW he was 2 3/4 yo and much more manageable. I don't recall any bad feedback from the folks at the fair. And the peace of mind was invaluable.

At that age they are so into walking and running and being mobile, having just learned that it's possible. And they are so vocal when crossed. Have you noticed the looks you get if a toddler is being tempermental? You're either bad for "letting" the toddler have a tantrum or, you must have just mistreated the child because it wouldn't be making such a racket on it's own!

Those months right around 2 are difficult no matter how good your parenting skills or how well behaved your child usually is. It doesn't take much to put them on overload. If a child can run around and work off some energy while mom stays less anxious, everybody wins. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Jan

[andromedaslove]

OK, here goes. I will NEVER put my child on a leash. Although I see the reasons that one might feel the need to do so. One reason is that in a busy place with lots of BIG people the little ones don't always get noticed and I have witnessed on several occasions children getting run over because people are too busy looking around to look down to the level where they would see a child. If I am standing next to my child people are not going to run him over without running me over first. Secondly, I don't like the idea of putting my child on a leash and letting them run. Then they never learn that they have to stay next to me. At 18 months old my son would attempt to run off and he would never hold my hand either. Actually sent me on a chase through the mall once with everyone staring ( I never lost sight of him though) , but now he doesn't leave my side. I think that letting your children run around away from you on a leash only teaches them that it is ok to be away from you regardless of where you are. Where as if you teach them to stay next to you no matter what then that is what they do, and 18 mos old is the time that they are learning those kinds of things. I hope I don't upset anyone with my post, but as I said I can't stand the idea of putting a child on a leash. I do however understand how some people might feel it is a better option.

[Ian]

We just took my then 16-month old DD to Disney in October and we made her stay in her stroller all the time. I assume yours doesn't have a seat belt in it? We just kept her belted in all the time.

I think aside from the getting lost problems, there are a lot of other reasons not to let your child walk around Disney World at that age. There's just too much risk ... especially if it's crowded.

My advice is to keep her in her stroller at all times, unless you are right there with her. I don't think a leash will solve most of your problems, although if you do opt to go that way I think it's fine. I don't know what all the hoopla is ... if it's okay to strap them into car seats, strollers, etc. for their own safety, why in the world is it a big deal to put them on a leash?

[merrymouse]

Thanks everyone for your input. I think I will difinitely at least bring one with me.

My kids are actually very well behaved and are not in the habit of running off on me. I consider myself and my husband to be good parents and would use the harness only when appropriate and safe. ie: not too crowded, on a short hold not to run all over the place Gosh, doesn't all this go without saying???

So, I appreciate the positive response and it will give her some time to stretch her legs. And yes, of course my stroller has a seat belt. And also the comment about just demanding to hold the little ones hand well, yeah, I could just demand to hold her hand and I have in certain situations held her hand against her will but that is not how I want to spend our disney trip.

xipetotec, I know people like this and it drives me insane! I find myself watching other peoples kids wandering off and worrying because the parents aren't watching!

mickeynuts, good idea about lines and parades--makes perfect sense to want to dance at the parades. And I was [img]graemlins/rotfl.gif[/img] at the story about tying the kids to the pole...too funny [img]smile.gif[/img]

well 15 days to go and its not usually hugely crowded at this time so I get the harness and while shes walking maybe one of my big kids can hop in the stroller and give their legs a break. Thanks again!

[drummerboy]

Having raised two DDs and now having three grandchildren, I agree with use of at least a wrist "leash". Our 2 year old grandchild can be a livewire and hardheaded, so DD took one to WDW just in case. Turns out we didn't need it, luckily--she kept right with us even when not in the stroller.

As far as "making" a child do anything--that depends on a lot of things at any given moment. Some children are very compliant all the time, some won't respond to much of any kind of discipline, most are somewhere in between. If you have one who usually does what you want, consider yourself lucky.

[piget]

I don't see any reason not to...especially if it helps and makes you feel relaxed about the situation......take one, try it...and then see how the child does and how you feel about it!!! Good luck and enjoy yourselves!!!

[DutchsMommy]

Just a word of advice - definately practise before you go. I bought a harness for DS (the one that goes around his chest, not the wrist leash) who is 18 mos. thinking it would be perfect, some mobility but still in my control - and what a mess!!! The leash/strap you hold onto was really short and I was kinda bent over trying to walk around with him (I'm 5'8") and he would just pull like crazy - you know until he was almost parallel to the ground?! I think he thought it was a great game. And what are you going to do - yank him up or let go? No of course not! - you have to stop, gently lower him down (because he isn't going to stop pulling - and wreck all his fun!!!???No way) and then hoist him back on his feet again to start all over. Maybe my kiddo is a little bit of a handful, but I think alot of little ones would probably do something similar and not walk sedately along beside us at every moment. I would also think twice about the wrist leash - simply because it could trip up some adult if your kid ran for something, which could in turn trip your kid up and result in some injury. So - try out the leash first and if it works for you, go for it! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ January 05, 2004, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: DutchsMommy ]

[DisneyKim22]

I used to be one of those non-parents who were against the harness thing. I still don't have kids, but over the years and after having lost my nephew for 10 minutes in a Home Depot, I am all for them! I plan on having them for my kids once I have my own!

[Noah's Helper]

I have to agree with DutchsMommy -- do practice before you go. We put a harness on our (then) 17-month-old for the first time at Magic Kingdom. He just took off running and landed on his bottom when he reached the end of the leash. After repeating this once or twice, we just took it off. (It probably bothered me more than it did him -- I couldn't help but wonder what those around us might be thinking. [img]graemlins/blush.gif[/img] )

He wasn't one to be happy in a stroller all day, so when he got fussy we tried to find relatively safe areas to let him wander around and burn off some energy. (I burned quite a bit of energy chasing after him too! [img]graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] )

Originally posted by Gotta Love the TTA:
First off, you are far braver than I am to take an 18 month old to WDW.

For me, that age was the absolute WORST...

Yes, it is a challenge to take a child that age to WDW, but we found it to be an even greater challenge with our DS when he was 3 years old! And despite the challenges, both trips were also rewarding and definitely worthwhile. [img]graemlins/mickey.gif[/img]

[ January 05, 2004, 06:38 PM: Message edited by: Noah's Helper ]

[Bmwdsny]

Ha Ha, this is a funny topic but very important indeed. This reminds me when my hubby and i were first married, before we had kids, we used to cringed when we see parents with their kids on harness and that we would "never" do that to our kids, since we felt leashes are for dogs NOT children!!!! Well, Never say never!!! My son was very active and curious and i used it few times at WDW and other parks because he was never afraid to talk to strangers and i was scared to death that if i even look away a second, he is off among the crowds!! With crazy people going on in the world, this was the safest bet and i ask GOD to forgave me for making crude comments to all the parents in the very beginning. Remember, children are the most precious creatures on earth and don't let others ever cloud your judgement on something that may be best for your child's safety. have fun!!

[ January 05, 2004, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: Bmwdsny ]

[Gotta Love the TTA]

Here's something else to consider.

A few days ago I heard a story on the radio (OK--it was NPR) that pediatricians were decrying the use of "Cadillac Strollers" for children as old as 7.

It seems that there is a trend among parents to strap 'em in a stroller and wheel them around everywhere.

As all parents will attest, it is FAR easier to push a stroller than it is to keep track of a young child. That is true at the grocery store, mall, etc. as well as WDW.

The problem is that these kids aren't getting any exercise either and this could be yet another contributing factor to the epidemic of childhood obesity.

Put them on a leash if you don't trust them. (And may I add, that "making a child mind" in MY day meant a public spanking. Just TRY that today!!)

But they absolutely need time to move. Use the stroller when they are too tired to walk, but let them walk most of the time.