help with healing/memorial for a true blue DD

[EPCOTcoffeegirl]

I don't post here nearly as much as I stop by to read posts. I've been going to wdw since my mom was 8mos along with me, and even did the college program, so disney history/parks/films, EVERYTHING mean a whole lot to me.

This post isn't meant to be a downer, but you folks, in your own way, have given me such a lift in other times with your posts, and I thought that maybe you'd be the ones to ask about this.

My father passed away on Friday morning--a shock to my family. Even though he had not been in the best health since a serious car accident two years ago, it had not been proceeded with any sort of warning signs. He passed in his sleep, 57 years old last month. Married to my mother for 30 years this past Feb.

I absolutely adored my father, but it's been toughest on my mother and also on my brother (whose name in all seriousness is Disney) who has mild autism.

My father is the reason we went to those parks. He became a five year old when he went there. He carried me on his shoulders to watch the MSEP. He held me up to Mickey Mouse to kiss his nose. He had the whole boat clapping and singing along on PoTC. He would peek around his and mom's doom buggy and go "BOO!" to make me and my brother jump.

He teared up every time we watched the American Adventure, and even on his last trip in 04, when a back surgery confined him mostly to a wheelchair, he defied "God and all" by riding mission space because he thought it was "a mighty fine ride"

He worked all these 30 years to take care of my mother, and later me and my brother as well, and he loved those vacations.

My brother, having autism, becomes fixated on things when his small ordered world is disrupted. He keeps asking my mom about WDW and it is breaking her heart because she's never been without our Papa.

I wish the bricks in front of MK were still for sale.

I ask you all, after having to tell this sad news, if ANYONE has any advice--have any of you had to take "that trip" after someone can't make it anymore?

Does anyone have ANY idea of how to make or do some sort of memorial at the parks in his memory?

I want to be able to take my mom and brother to the parks again, not any time TOO soon, but sometime...and make it a time of healing and peace, not one of sadness.

thank you to anyone who can help!

[BelleKP]

I'm truly at a loss for words . . . and can only say that you, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you and your family find peace and happiness and that it comes to you soon!
As far as remembering your father at DW, why not get a plack on the Leave a Legacy plaques. You could put his photo, or some simple words in his memory.
I wish I could think of more . . . again, I'm sorry for your loss. I will send some Pixie dust your way!

[Rella]

I first must tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Your father sounds like a wonderful man, with a wonderful spirit. It seems to me that there would be no better way to honor him than to take a special trip in his honor. Certainly take some time to grieve, but why not plan a memorial trip? Go back to Disney with the intent of recalling all of the happy and wonderful memories your father created for your family. Go on his favorite rides, tell favorite stories, eat at favorite places. Remember him well. It seems like that would make him quite happy.

Again, I'm so sorry about the passing of your father. God Bless.

[mickeys_princess_mom]

Tears, here, and prayers for you and your family. I think the above poster had good ideas and expressed them well. I'm sure your dad would want you to continue the Magic he enjoyed with you.

[EPCOTcoffeegirl]

my Dad was a full time minister so there was no feeling of despair as to any sort of "finality" for him.

We have a lovely group of family and friends who are praying for us and supporting us now, but any good thoughts etc for my brother especially are appreciated.

Also for my mother to heal through the next trip we take--I want her to be able to smile during Illuminations, laugh at captain jack's antics (that we haven't seen yet), and have her breath taken away on Soarin (which she's never ridden but I have). And for her to know that Daddy would want her to have a good time.

If they let you wear a goofy hat in Heaven, I know he's wearing one now, eating a citrus swirl.

[Pirate Granny]

I'm so sorry for your loss...you and your family will be in my prayers. My father's last trip to WDW was for the MNSSHP...and I've gone the last two years in memory of dad...now, that last year I had his picture taken and he's in front of EPCOT SSE...and we and my friends and family now go to visit dad while we're at the world. I wished that I had gotten a picture of him and mom together when they were taking pictures by e-mail...Just go and you will feel him there...it may be hard...but I guarantee that you will 'feel him smile'...when you pass his favorite things...
God Bless you all.

[Jenemmy]

Awww, God bless your whole family

What an extraordinary man it sounds like your Dad was. I am so glad you have peace for him. From what you have written, I am betting your Dad would surely want you all to continue the Disney tradition. It is all so raw and new for you right now, but I think you could probably all still find a way of enjoying a trip eventually. I have found that after a loss, bittersweet memories eventually turn to just sweet memories as we learn to keep on living. You may cry your first time back, but I bet you will smile as well -- maybe even laugh at some of the joyful memories

It would be great to remember him with something special he enjoyed there -- whether it be an attraction or a restaurant, but it also sounds like there are some experiences that would be new to you guys, and that is OK as well. Mix the good memories with some new ones -- maybe stay in a resort that is new for all of you, take some of the tours etc....I would also splurge on one of the beautiful Disney photo frames and keep a favorite picture of your Dad in it.

I know when I have lost loved ones, it seems that the first time a major holiday or birthday rolls around without them is always so melancholy -- perhaps a holiday trip to WDW would be in order! Maybe it would ease the pain a bit and help the rest of you find a way to celebrate a little.

I myself have a child with autism, so I totally understand that aspect of your situation as well. Lots of prayers going up for your Mom as well, for her strength and her peace in the midst of this storm.

[Hayden's Dad]

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any words of encouragement or advice unfortunately. But I do have a shoulder to cry on. My prayers and pixie dust for you and your family.

[EpcotChic23]

I am so so so sorry for your loss. I am sitting at my desk at work crying b/c your father reminds me so much of mine. I am blessed to still have my father with me but he is getting up there in age and the doctors are always finding something else wrong with him. I sit here once and a while and think how will I ever go to WDW again when the time comes he is no longer with us. I am feeling for you right now and I have no suggestions I am sorry but your post really touched and I just wanted to give you and your family some pixie dust and a prayer. I know your father is up in heaven looking down with his goofy ears on and singing "Yo Ho Yo Ho a Piarets life for Me"

[MissMaryPoppins]

I'm so sorry. In 1995 my grandfather died unexpectedly and it was very hard for all of us. He loved going to Disney World and had been on vacations with us a few times over the years. When we went on vacation about 6 months later my mom decided the money she was inheriting would be used to buy into the vacation club. We knew it was something he would have loved and enjoyed too. When we're in the parks we always bring up a funny memory from when my grandparents were on trips with us. We always laugh about how Rosie chased him around Hollywood Blvd and kissed him with all that lipstick, My brother and I thought it was cool that he rode the roller coasters with us. My favorite memory is going into the food court at Port Orleans Riverside and he told me how the big wheel in the middle of the room amazed him. I found him in there one afternoon drinking coffee and watching it! That always makes me laugh for some reason. As long as you have memories that make you happy you'll be able to go back.

[EPCOTcoffeegirl]

My dad would have def gotten a smile from the suggestions and the nice things ya'll have said. You're right--he was an amazing man.

Miss MP--that's such a sweet story about your grandpa. My grandparents only went on one disney vc with us, as my grandfather's brother lived in Hanes City, Fl and they went to visit them. But my favorite memory of my Grandfather on that trip was stopping in Lake City, Fl for breakfast at McDonalds. (this is in about 1985). He'd never had a McD's breakfast before and he got the one that has the hot cakes and sausage and biscuit and hash browns and he just thought that was the coolest thing!

My dad loved riding the monorail through the contemp. resort--we'd never stayed there but he loved riding through it. When I WORKED there on the college program and had that sweet discount, I booked my family into it (two weeks before Christmas) and it was the most beautiful trip ever! My manager gave me three days off in a row and experiencing Christmas at Disney with my family, when we'd ALWAYS gone Father's day week in June, was so fun and new.

I hope one day we'll get back there at Christmas.

[divinedi]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man. You will always have your memories of him, and may you find some peace in this very sad time.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

My sympathies on the loss of your Dad. Your next trip will be bittersweet. But as long as you keep the memories of your father alive when you are there, he'll still be with you in spirit. It will be harder for your brother I'm sure because he may not totally understand why your Dad isn't physically there with you. But I'm sure he'd want you to go again and to enjoy yourselves.

[Jeff]

Your father sounds like he was a great Dad.
My prayers are with you, your brother and your mother.

[Piglet822]

My sympathies on the loss of your Dad. Your next trip will be bittersweet. But as long as you keep the memories of your father alive when you are there, he'll still be with you in spirit. It will be harder for your brother I'm sure because he may not totally understand why your Dad isn't physically there with you. But I'm sure he'd want you to go again and to enjoy yourselves.

When I first read your post I knew what I wanted to write but couldn't get the words. PAYROLL PRINCESS has said exactly what I was thinking and she is 100% correct.
My dad passed away 12 years ago and although my nephew wasn't born until after his passing he still "knows" my dad because my brother and I keep his memory alive.
My condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.

[pdrlkr]

I'm sorry for your loss.