From two children to three...

[TikiGoddess]

Nothing like a dose of reality to help you make decisions.

I was over at my best friend's house last night for dinner. She has two kids -- ages 4 and 7 months. Her 7 mo old is an angel baby, very laid back. I spent a lot of time holding him and playing with him as I usually do (he's my baby fix).

And it brought back all the memories -- good and bad -- of infanthood. And now I can say, yes, I am happy with our family the way it is. I'm not ready to go through babyhood again (and toddlerhood...). There are many reasons for my decision, too many to list. But your input was valuable in helping me to decide.

So thanks for all the advice!! I love Intercot.

Kathy

[Mousefever]

I had a funny feeling that you might end up with this decision. But you can always think about it again in the future. I also understand the feeling. About once a year I get a baby urge, and I know I have to ride it out.

Here's to older kids who will ride more and more Disney attractions with you!

Amy

[jrkcr]

I have 3 daughters, and that the perfect number for me. Ages 17, 15 and 9. After dd#2, we talked about not having any more. But I wasn't sure. After dd#3, I KNEW I had the right number. Our family just felt complete.

But a baby boy would be nice...

I'll settle for a grandson!

[Ian]

I kind of feel the same way. We have two that are 6 1/2 and 2 (boy and a girl) and, while I'm glad the infant phase is over for both of them, I'm still kind of itching for a third.

The thing is, I'm turning 40 this year and I just don't know if I want to have a newborn on my hands when I'm almost 41!

[princessgirls]

I start feeling a little like I really would love another child, but do I want to go back to all the baby stuff again??? I had my one-year old niece overnight, and you forget the equipment that is involved.

We had our girls so close together (not planned), that I was just not ready for another.

I am content and THANKFUL that my girls are happy and healthy, and at 40 I don't know that I have the energy to start this all over.
Julie

[BrerGnat]

I hope I never get the feeling that I want more children, because we are DONE. Made sure of that by having DH...ahem...well, you know.

We currently have two boys, 4 1/2 and almost 3. I KNOW I will never want a girl , so that won't be it, but I'm still fairly young (I just turned 30 last year), so those "biological clock" hormones probably haven't kicked in full force yet.

The thing is, 2 is kicking our rear end. DH is military and has to spend a lot of time away from home, so I have to play "single mommy" a lot. It's hard. Plus, both our kids have developmental disabilities (one has autism, the other has a speech/language delay). It's rough on the best days.

I am grateful for my kids, but I really don't know HOW couples handle more than 2. Both me and DH came from families with 3 children, and we agreed early on that we would stop at 2, and we did just that.

We've already agreed that if we ever get "the urge", we'll just get a puppy!

[princessgirls]

Natalie~

You know what you can handle... I truly believe that!!!

Your husband is in the military and you have two beautiful boys who need some extra TLC.

You may get the urge, later on you are still young... oh to be 30 again...LOL!
Thanks for sharing!
Julie

[Momof2boys]

We made that same decision - our boys are 10 & 8 and I/we went thru that same "whats one more" but we truly believe by sticking with a family of 4 we made the right decision. I'm the oldest of 3 and I always said I'd have to have an even amount of kids - so 3 would've turned into 4 I'm sure.

[murphy1]

I kind of feel the same way. We have two that are 6 1/2 and 2 (boy and a girl) and, while I'm glad the infant phase is over for both of them, I'm still kind of itching for a third.

The thing is, I'm turning 40 this year and I just don't know if I want to have a newborn on my hands when I'm almost 41!

Or you will have a three yo when you are 43!! LOL

I think baby borrowing is good And that's why I said the whole thing about this is just to do it, don't think on it too much! It'll overwhelm you.

[Cinderelley]

I have three biological kids. For me, going from 1 to 2 wasn't too hard, but going from 2 to 3 felt like I was starting all over again. I found that I got the "new baby" urge about the time the youngest one turned 1. I think it was because they became so independent, and I missed the cuddly time. Now my youngest is 14, and I'm so glad I don't have another one. I love them to death, but I'm ready for some me time.

[ncscgirl2005]

I hate to drag this back up but I am in the same situation as many others have previously discussed.

We have two DDs (ages 11 and 8) and DH wants to have two more. I have never pictured myself having 3 kids so needless to say I am stunned he wants 4. His reasoning is that if we have one they will have not have anyone to grow up with since the other two kids are so much older. We are young parents so our ages are not really a factor for us.

I would love to have a son but I feel like it would be just my luck I end up with another girl. I would be happy either way but for grooming purposes I would love to have a son. It already takes me and DDs about two hours to get dressed now so I don't even want to think about adding more time to to that by having another girl. If we had a boy I could just throw him on a shirt, jeans, and a baseball cap and hit the door!

There are several factors we have to think about as well including buying a bigger house, a bigger vehicle, and other financial responsibilities that go along with having another kid. Also, DH is in the Army and his unit deploys in six month rotations. I really seriously don't want to go through childbirth alone nor do I want to have a newborn while he's deployed.

I do have to itch to have another kid but it is cured when I go to the stores and hear those screaming babies all through the store. DD11 is very against having another kid. She thinks she's going to have to give up some of her material comforts (softball, guitar lessons,etc) if we have another kids. DD8 is all for it. She wants a little brother also. I like our family of 4. It makes it so much easier to travel and such. I love the freedom we have to go and come as please because our kids are old enough to do lot of things by themselves.

DH will be home from deployment in a few weeks and I will start taking my birth control again. I don't want any "accidents" while we try to figure all this out.

[Cinderelley]

Does your DH get this longing when he is away from home for the 6 months? I've talked to some people who say that that is pretty common. See what he says 6 months from now when he's been home for a while. Do you have any friends with infants that he can use as a "trial run"?

[BedknobsandBroomsticks]

and I'm happy as heck! but I would agree age is a factor not to be ignored. I was 32 when I had #3 and then hubby got a vasectomy. Our first born was an adventure, I had to have a c-section which for me was awful. Colicky, screamer, not a good sleeper for a while. Our ped. actually said you should have another one quick because if you wait to long you might not want to. She is beautiful, just headstrong. Anyway, #2 DD was a VBAC which I understand are hardly done anymore, only 8% nationally and it was wonderful. She was so good from day 1, slept 10 hours by 3 weeks etc. I said to DH I think I would like another. If it happens it happens but if I turn 35 then I don't want anymore. I just didn't want them that far apart or when I was older. A choice for me. #3 was born 2 years and 1 day after #2. Our darling boy. But don't do it ever to try and have a certain sex, statistically the odds are 80% you will have the same sex again if you have 2 already. It wasn't any harder with 3 at all. Actually easier because #2 and #3 are so close in age they always had each other to play with. By the way I would have had more so that is why DH got fixed, I get the itch all the time but I can't scratch it. It eventually goes away. I know I shouldn't have more but probably would if I could.

[ncscgirl2005]

Does your DH get this longing when he is away from home for the 6 months? I've talked to some people who say that that is pretty common. See what he says 6 months from now when he's been home for a while. Do you have any friends with infants that he can use as a "trial run"?

We don't have any friends with little babies but my sister's 3-yr old God daughter might get the trick done. I visited with her last night and I was ready to leave after an hour with her! Whew...that was a lot of work.

[wdwfansince75]

I have enjoyed reading each of these posts! To me, all of you are "the next generation"...and each of you implied that you had children that you love....but wonder if you should have more. It was noted that if you have 2 children of the same sex, there is an 80 % probability that a third child would be of the same sex....but let me assure you that if a couple have 2 children that they love, there is a 100 % probability that a third child will be loved just as much......The beauty of parential love is that each child receives 100 % of that love....

My dad was named "Theodore"...."the gift of God"....He was his mother's 12th child.....His name was his mother's way of acknowledging that all children, not just Theodore, were gifts from God. Should any of you choose ( or be chosen) to be parents again, your child will be blessed with loving parents....and you will be blessed as well.

[aurora, ariel, and bell]

My "kids" are now 28, 26 and 20. I had a boy and girl 20months apart and then waited until my daughter was 6. We knew we wanted one more but decided to wait. I thouroughly enjoyed my youngest son. The other two were in school and i had time to devote just to him, However i have thought as they were older that i wish i had one more that was close in age to the last one. As they got older he was more like an only child, and i think he misses some of the fun experiences having a sibling close to his age.

My daughter is now a mom of 3 girls, all 12 months apart. Her and her husband knew they wanted 3 and close together. the third one for them just made her life crazy...3 under 3. As they get older now 4, 3, and 2 it is getting easier.

Hope my rambling helped. I guess my advise is each family is different, but i wish I had two and not just one later on.

[Dulcee]

As a completely different point of view, I never realized 3 kids was a lot. I'm #3 of four kids, and theres seven years between each and every one of us. My oldest sister was out of high school when Mom had my little sister. So from a totally different view point, if its a matter of time and love for each child, there is nothing better then the relationship siblings form with each other, despite the age differences and now physical distances, my sibilings are easily my best friends and none of us has ever felt "more loved" by our parents then the others.