Mayhem in the French Quarter-Chapter 1
Suspects:
WDWCrazyKaren
Age: Appropriate
Known Aliases: Crazy, Karen
Surly McCrankyPants
Age: 3 Years less than Appropriate
Known Aliases: Cranky, Bryan
The name is Mouse. Mickey Mouse. I’ve worked in homicide in the French Quarter for over 30 years, but since I’ve never had a single case, I got bored. Started hitting the cheese pretty hard. I’m in a 12 step program, trying to get myself off the cheese. I’ve beaten camembert and brie, and am working my way down to Colby, and finally low-moisture, part-skim mozzarella. I’ve been demoted to basically a glorified gumshoe. We had a tip from a sleazy informant that two suspects we’ve had our eye on for quite some time were on their way into town. I was sent off to some horrific place on a frozen tundra (I know, that’s redundant-all tundra’s are frozen!) to keep an eye and ears on these two grease-balls and to report back their every move to my boss, D.D. (Donald Duck). D.D. is pretty sure these two are going to wreak havoc in our sleepy burg, and we need to be prepared!
With my newfangled 4D glasses, I watched through their window while standing in a four foot snowbank. Not enjoying this already, I noticed the suspects get up early (3:00AM). What on earth would possess this behavior? Crazy seemed to have kicked something in the dark of the bedroom and swear loudly, thus awakening Cranky. Something was muttered about previously broken toes and how much fun this will be now, not being able to even put on shoes. I monitored a quick phone call, and surmised there is an accomplice that will be driving them to the airport. Quick note to self to check out someone named “Mom” and find out if 70 year old gray haired tiny woman may be involved. “Mom” opened the trunk of her car, and suspects threw a few large bags in. Body parts? Infrared scanner not operable in this unlivable temperature. Cannot confirm.
Suspects arrived at airport at 5:00AM. Bleary eyed passengers seemed not to take notice of these two miscreants. Neither did the bleary eyed TSA agents, as they stupidly let them in the airport, carrying two of the suspicious bags. I will travel on the same flight (incognito) to monitor. Suspects stop at a McDonalds and pay scandalous amount for breakfast. Then pay scandalous amount for two bottles of water and newspaper. Suspects attempt to blend in with other passengers, seemingly yawning on cue and making trips to the bathrooms. They both keep their eyes on SmartPhones (or trigger devices), again in attempt to blend, as that’s what everyone else was doing. Flight leaves gate at 7:00AM, but we sit on tarmac for 45 minutes to de-ice plane. Or maybe one more security check? I believe the de-icing story though. Almost froze my tail off out there! Hid my laughter as Cranky was in obvious pain after the party in front of him moved his seat all the way back. Cranky is tall, and tiny man in front of him laid that seat back as far as he could. Cranky chewed on his kneecaps for 3 hours, only after being hit in the shoulder by the drink cart about 3 times. Cranky was decidedly Crankier after this flight!
Suspects land at MCO and a brisk walk lands them in a bus line. Still holding their suspicious bags, I wanted to apprehend them prior to risking other passengers, however, let them go. It’s a calculated risk I was willing to take. Finally, they are on their way back in to my jurisdiction, in, The French Quarter.
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Reply With Quote
This is so funny & I'll be waiting for more.
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