I just found out a family member is going to Disney. They always go for Xmas and we did start this trip together many years ago. It was like a little tradition. WELL, this year they decided to go at a different time than we are. Hey no problem, but the reason they chose to do this is because. WE go so many times during the year that they feel we don't get as much joy out of our trips. And here is the kicker... WE treat Disney like a "VACATION" we like to sleep in a little and we take our time going from park to park... I was really hurt by this statement, because this family member is my brother and we have always gone together when my kids were younger. I don't get to see him and his kids very often so I always thought Disney was a great place to meet up. And now that will not ever happen because he doesn't think we move fast enough, granted they are up at the crack of dawn when we would go, but still. I guess I might be making this a big thing, but it really hurt that he said that. by the way (he mentioned it to my mom) so I'm really not even suppose to know he feels this way. He would just tell me they like to go during the week and he knows i cant do that. The last time I checked Disney was a vacation and you are suppose to take it all in and enjoy the moments. Not run through the park and miss the magic...
And for the record EVERY time we go we feel like it's our first time. We see and do new things with every visit..
thanks for letting me vent :mickey:
Been there, done that and going back!!! See ya real soon !!!
Wow, that really is unfortunate. There are so many ways to enjoy Disney. We have a tradition where every few years, we get as many family members together as we can. Some years it's 15. Some years it's 22 or 23. What we've learned works best is not worrying about doing everything together all the time. We have some who like starting at dawn - so they do. Then others might meet up with them later at a park or at the resort. We try to all meet up for dinners at least every other night. And even though we're not together there 100% of the time, it's still some of the best family memories for us. With cell phones and texting these days, it's so easy to stay in touch.
Maybe there is still hope for you to be able to enjoy the memories yet! Talk about it with him and see if you can find a compromise!
Good luck.
Don't let it bother you too much. People just are sometimes VERY different in their personalities when traveling. My own sister is very much like that...go go go! The other sister is a little bit TOO laid back for me. I am somewhere in the middle. I know that if we ever tried to vacation together, it would be a disaster, which is probably why we have never done so. ;)
You need to do your vacation YOUR way and let others do so as well. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to be. Perhaps you all need to find another place to meet up as a family. Maybe a cruise would work well for you all because you will always be able to meet up for dinner every night and then spend some time together as you wish during the day.
Natalie
INTERCOT Staff: Disneyland Resort-California, The Water Cooler
I'm sorry!
Vacationing with extended family or friends can be hard, especially when you have different styles. Maybe in a few years you can go together again, but plan some times apart so everyone gets to vacation how they want.
Heather aka ibelieveindisneymagic
INTERCOT Staff
Engaged at the castle!
My Disney Home is POFQ
Try to shrug it off, and like mentioned maybe there is another place you and your brother's family could get together for a day or two. There are lots of people I love dearly, but I wouldn't want to vacation with them, I'm sure there are people you wouldn't want to vacation with either.
And slightly OT, but I'd tell my mother to not share family gossip like that with me. Your brother told her something in confidence (probably just venting) and by her telling you what he thought were his private feelings she's caused you emotional stress.
dnickels;2474028 wrote: And slightly OT, but I'd tell my mother to not share family gossip like that with me. Your brother told her something in confidence (probably just venting) and by her telling you what he thought were his private feelings she's caused you emotional stress.
This was my first thought as well.
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dnickels;2474028 wrote: ...
And slightly OT, but I'd tell my mother to not share family gossip like that with me. Your brother told her something in confidence (probably just venting) and by her telling you what he thought were his private feelings she's caused you emotional stress.
Well said. Some people just love to build up the drama.
When I go with family or friends, I tell them "Do not try to do what I do. Do you your own thing." Let's meet up for a ride or two, a meal or two and enjoy the time we intersect." I see a lot of stress when people try to coordinate too much together or expect to be together too much.
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I think Disney vacations especially are HARD for this. We will never go with my in laws again. They were too laid back for my disney vacation style. We are go - go - go and plan - plan - plan and it just didn't jive.
Maybe now is the time to find a new destination to meet up! While our vacation styles for disney were very different we found we can do beach vacations together just fine.
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I can imagine that it hurt to hear that your brother felt that way, but it could be a good thing. Now both of your families can go and enjoy Disney World at their own speed. If you do go at the same time, maybe you can meet up with his family for a day or two or for an activity here or there.
I, too, am surprised that your mom would tell you information that was told in confidence, especially knowing that it might cause hurt feelings.
Beth
INTERCOT Staff--
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BrerGnat;2474020 wrote: Don't let it bother you too much. People just are sometimes VERY different in their personalities when traveling. My own sister is very much like that...go go go! The other sister is a little bit TOO laid back for me. I am somewhere in the middle. I know that if we ever tried to vacation together, it would be a disaster, which is probably why we have never done so. ;)
You need to do your vacation YOUR way and let others do so as well. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to be. Perhaps you all need to find another place to meet up as a family. Maybe a cruise would work well for you all because you will always be able to meet up for dinner every night and then spend some time together as you wish during the day.
Yes this!
But I do understand being hurt by those things.
I like your way of vacationing! 
Not that all people who like to go full force are like this, but often I find those families who do this have tired cranky kids and I start hearing "I spent all this money...."
So vacation your way! And if you do schedule at the same time, maybe just meet up for an ADR here and there and coordinate a FP?
Terra - Wife, mother, special needs teacher. Disney addict! °o°
Advocate for my 2 sons. David: Auto-immune disorder. Praying for remission!ASD/SPD & Aaron: ADHD/Anxiety/ASD. Life makes us stronger!
I'm so sorry for the way things turned out. I'm not sure how close you are to your brother, but perhaps when he does tell you this week act cool, calm and collected. But let him know that you are dissapointed and how much going to Disney with his family means to you. Say you understand that everyone does Disney vacations their own way and that you apologize if your family was holding him back. After smoothing things out, I would try to make a compromise with him for next year. Maybe say, "Next trip can we plan it so our trips overlap for say 2-3 days, and we spend those 2-3 days together?" If this is too much you could always try offering to go at the same time but put aside a designated time for when both families will join each other. Sometimes my family likes to go with our family friends and we usually plan one or two days together then do our vacation our own way. Once again, I'm so sorry this happened. The best thing you can do is talk to your brother and get that communication going. Who knows? Maybe this could inspire you guys to decide to meet up for the holidays outside of Disney in the future. Best of luck!
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