Passing of a Parent

Sorry for your loss.

While I have not lost my parents (although my mom was recently diagnosed with multiple myloma) I lost my step mom 3 years ago. She had been in my life for so long and beginning at such a young age (7y/o) that she was like a 3rd parent. It was very hard. The mourning process does take time, I think the length of time varies from person to person. It does get easier.

Only until recently, I can listen to her favorite song when it comes on the radio, I still get teary eyed, but now with a smile thinking of the fond memories of her. Not the extreme sad sobbing I used to get.

Im sorry for your loss and know how difficult it can be. I lost my grandma who was like my second mom 5 years ago and i can say this it does get easier. The questions you ask are unique to each person. and it all depends on you in the long run.

i can say this it was about 2 or 3 months before my normal routine was back completely. At first i felt guilty about going out with my friends but my friends were amazing they helped me at least one day a week not feel entirely lost but its all natural and normal.

There was one line that has always stuck with me. we all grieve differently. no one person is right or wrong on how they handle loss it is our way to keep the love one in our heart for all time.

I hope this helps

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

As someone who walks this journey with people every day in my pastoral work I can tell you there is no "normal" way to grieve. Whatever you do, however you handle it, is what's normal for you as long as you do deal with it. The only thing not healthy is to try to ignore or numb it. But as long as you do process it, how long it takes and how you do it is up to you. The other thing I would say is you'll never get back to "normal." "Normal" doesn't exist any longer. You've lost your mom. That changes your life forever. So instead of looking to get back to normal, you have to figure out your new normal. What will be life like going forward? How will you deal with not having her in your life? How will you honor her with your life? The final thing is to recognize holidays, her birthday, and the anniversary of her death are usually particularly hard days. Acknowledge that and plan to deal with it accordingly.

I'm sorry for your loss, truly.

My Mom died nearly 6 years ago after a forty year health struggle and a heinous final two months in hospital. Like you, I was relieved when her struggle ended, but I still miss her every single day. Even this morning I had a "I'll just call and ask Mom" moment. That said, we make sure to talk about her all the time. The stories keep her alive. We still make the jokes she would make and say the things she would say, and that is very comforting.

I wish you peace and smiles as you make your way forward. There is nothing like your mother, and a certain emptiness remains, but to fill that with the memories of everything that was so wonderful about her does help.

Thank you for your sympathies... I really appreciate it...

Kenny1113;2429271 wrote: Only until recently, I can listen to her favorite song when it comes on the radio, I still get teary eyed, but now with a smile thinking of the fond memories of her. Not the extreme sad sobbing I used to get.

The small things get to me... This only happened Wednesday... Friday was the wake, Saturday the funeral... So, it is still so new and fresh... And I'll never get the image of Wednesday morning out of my head...

Friends keep posting pictures of her on their FB pages.. And I get teary eyed... Mostly because of happiness seeing how many lives she touched and how many people loved her... And of course, sadness that she will no longer be here, physically anyway...

Capt_redshirt;2429272 wrote: At first i felt guilty about going out with my friends but my friends were amazing they helped me at least one day a week not feel entirely lost but its all natural and normal.

I hope this helps

Thank you... Every little bit helps...

I'm feeling guilt too.. A friend of mine asked me to hang out this coming Wednesday, a week later... I don't want to make any plans to go anywhere... I'd feel too guilty, like I should still be home... And I don't want to leave my dad's side just yet... But, I also want to give him his space...

Strmchsr;2429273 wrote: What will be life like going forward? How will you deal with not having her in your life? How will you honor her with your life? The final thing is to recognize holidays, her birthday, and the anniversary of her death are usually particularly hard days. Acknowledge that and plan to deal with it accordingly.

I can be honest, I was worried about the future, at first... And still am honestly... But yet, I know things will be fine too... The holidays aren't too far away, and already I dread them.. Especially Christmas and New Year's Eve...

And I never knew you did pastoral work... That's good to know... I may PM you one day if I need any kind of questions answered...

Mickey'sGirl;2429274 wrote: I'm sorry for your loss, truly.

My Mom died nearly 6 years ago after a forty year health struggle and a heinous final two months in hospital. Like you, I was relieved when her struggle ended, but I still miss her every single day. Even this morning I had a "I'll just call and ask Mom" moment. That said, we make sure to talk about her all the time. The stories keep her alive. We still make the jokes she would make and say the things she would say, and that is very comforting.

I wish you peace and smiles as you make your way forward. There is nothing like your mother, and a certain emptiness remains, but to fill that with the memories of everything that was so wonderful about her does help.

A friend of mine said, when your mother dies, a piece of you dies as well... That statement is so true... My mother really was the glue that held our family together... She was always there, morning noon and night for us... She always sacrificed for us... As all parents do for their children... and I always felt like I could never do enough to help her while she was not herself...

Thank you all again...

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is a truly difficult time. People close to you don't know what to say, some shy away, some make small talk but what I needed most was just a hug.

My dad died at 55 because of a misdiagnosis. I was 25 and still daddy's little girl. I was split between heartache and anger and that lasted a good year or so until my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent surgery and radiation and was a survivor for almost 20 years and then I lost her too.

The pain will subside but for me it has never gone away. My boys never knew my dad and barely remember my mom, but we go through photos and talk about them so they have a sense of their heritage.

Take the time you need to grieve, cry, yell…do whatever it takes. If going out with a friend helps, then do it.

Wishing you the best during this time.

DizneyFreak2002;2429284 wrote: And I never knew you did pastoral work... That's good to know... I may PM you one day if I need any kind of questions answered....

I'm a man of many trades lol I was a meteorologist originally and that's what my undergrad degree is in. But now I'm an ordained United Methodist pastor in the FL panhandle. Since my doctorate is in leadership I do some teaching for Disney and other companies as an adjunct and at conferences. Feel free to PM me any time.

I haven't had to deal with the loss of a parent, yet, but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my mother.

I'm so sorry. My father passed away July 26. It has been very difficult. There is something surreal about losing someone who has been a part of your entire life to now be gone.

I'll pray for you and your family to find peace and comfort.

I am so sorry, to lose a mom is so very hard. Today we celebrated my mothers memory, she's been gone 25 years today. She was way too young, but was suffering so much towards the end, and I was glad The Lord took her. I still miss her a lot, but it's funny, I see and hear her every time I visit EPCOT. She loved it and I have wonderful memories of her there. You will slowly accept that she is gone, but she will always be right there in your heart and memories.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm saying a prayer for her and your family.

23 years ago I lost both parents within a week and a half of each other. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. But I got through it by thinking about what my mother would want me to do next. For me this included celebrating her life by going out and being with others.
Even now it still hurts to talk about what happened to my father after mom died and I won't tell it here. Once again it was thinking about mom that got me through it. It will always hurt, but it will get easier after a while. Sometimes I still cry like now when I am trying to write this. However most of the time when I think about them I remember the good things. And that is what I hold onto.
Hang in there it will get better.

So sorry for the loss of your mom- it is something you never really get over but time does help and memories help heal.

I have lost both my inlaws and my father. While they were all very difficult ( my MIL was one of my best friends and my Disney travel buddy). My dad was especially traumatic. He died less than 24 hours after I had my 2nd child - he was driving and had a heart attack. We were in another state and I did not get to go to the funeral.

It has been 19 years since my father died and I think of him often and can smile and not feel as sad. My MIL has just been gone 3 years so it is a little harder with her.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. It's very hard to lose a parent. I lost my dad when I was 18. I can only echo what others have said - there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You will start living and enjoying your life again in your own time. Don't worry about it being too soon. We need to live our lives to cope, and part of living life is doing things that make you happy. You will have moments for the rest of your life where the grief hits you, sometimes in surprising ways. But more and more often, the memories will make you smile instead of making you sad. Huge, huge hugs for you and your family!